The Unbearable Banishment: greetings from Asbury Park

Monday, December 29, 2008

greetings from Asbury Park

Through a set of circumstances not interesting enough to mention, I found myself in a club in Asbury Park, New Jersey on Saturday night watching three hardcore bands. All three bands looked and sounded like Black Flag. There was moshing! I thought mosh pits were passé, but apparently the either never went away or are all the rage again. There was even a girl mosh pit. They're all very polite. Did you know there's a mosh pit etiquette? By the end of the evening there was blood on smiling faces.

Good Christ, it was loud. Wimp that I am, I put little balled up pieces of cotton in my ears, thus preserving what’s left of may already damaged hearing.

I understand tattoos. I have a tiny one on my shoulder. Ear piercing is centuries old. If you feel the need to have your breasts enlarged, don’t let me stand in your way. I’m pretty much okay with all the different forms of body mutilation that are intended as a fashion statement and/or an act of rebellion. What I cannot abide by is earlobe stretching.

I didn’t understand it when I lived in the East Village years ago and I think even less of it now. I’m surprised to see that its made its way to the suburbs—Asbury Park is full of them. It’s not as bad as a crystal meth epidemic, but I wish they’d go away.

All of the body mutilation procedures mentioned above can be reversed. They can get rid of tattoos. Earring holes and piercings seal by themselves for lack of use. But I don’t think there’s a way to undo an earlobe ring. Is there? What does your ear look like when you take that stupid thing out at night? Do they hang down to your shoulders? Ick.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's called gauging (sp?), or something like that, and I don't get it either.

At least with tattoos, some will fade and give it that fresh-from-jail look. With stretched ears, every time I see one, I think, huh, I bet I could hang my coat on that.


December 29, 2008 at 12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

grosses me out a bit too... but so do bad "tramp stamps". to each his own...

and if you were in Asbury Park, NJ? were you at least screaming "Brooooooooooooooooooce"?

December 29, 2008 at 1:00 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

sonny: To me, they look bloody painful. I don't respond well to pain or pressure.

daisy: The venue was on the same boardwardk that was imortalized by Bruce in 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy), a few steps down from Madame Marie's fortune teller shack, which still stands to this day.

December 29, 2008 at 3:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(sigh) Mr. Springsteen is the sexiest sweaty man with an underbite. Ever. (swoon...)

December 29, 2008 at 5:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a special education teacher I taught with in my last high school. Nice guy but the ears grossed me out. Sacred the hell out of the kids which was good because he taught some real hard core nasty thugs.

I think that kind of thing has to be surgically corrected.

December 29, 2008 at 8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cotton ear plugs? Hey, did anyone call you "grandpa"?


December 29, 2008 at 8:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, they're kinda hard to like aren't they? my youngest son has had his earlobes stretched to the second smallest gauge for a couple of years now. He's promised not to go any further. He took the gauge out once to show me and it didn't look TOO bad but I shudder when I see the really big earrings on people in the street.....

feel the same about tattooed faces - it's a pretty confronting look. but hey - it's their body

December 30, 2008 at 3:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try this for size!

December 30, 2008 at 8:59 AM  
Blogger mjp said...

Yes, there is plastic surgery to close those giant earlobe holes. They basically chop off the loop and stitch the little leftover tabs shut.

I am studying the process myself and plan to become a millionaire performing them in 2011 when these daring individualists need to get real jobs.

December 30, 2008 at 1:52 PM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

I agree. It doesn't look in the least bit attractive.

It reminds me of neck stretching.


December 30, 2008 at 2:33 PM  
Blogger ~E said...

Blech! Isn't it bad enough that your earlobes will start to droop in old age without having to speed up the process?!?

December 31, 2008 at 4:34 PM  

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