The Unbearable Banishment: r.i.p. twitter

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

r.i.p. twitter

This, from yesterday’s New York Times business section:

Pizza Hut is hiring a “Twintern,” to chronicle “in 140 characters or less what’s going on at Pizza Hut,” a company official said.

Is that a burning question that needs answering? Who give a shit what’s going on at Pizza Hut? Thanks, Twitter, you paragon of uselessness.

Good riddance.

A few posts ago I mentioned that I was going to try and lighten up about Twitter. Obviously, my feeble attempts have failed.

* * *

Yesterday was my first day back at work after a four month layoff. I was there for 15 hours. That’s not one of my witty sarcasms or exaggerations. 15 hours! What’s wrong with those people?! Thank God I’m a consultant and am being paid an hourly wage.

They said they do it all the time and I believe them. I think they do it for the money. Why else would someone subject themselves to this type of unpleasantness? I wonder how long it’s going to take for me to snap and tell a stuffed suit to go jam a few reams of Xerox paper up his ass? Time will tell!


Blogger mjp said...

Could you please keep your posts to 140 characters? I have trouble taking in any more infotainment than that in one sitting. Thanks.

Congratulations on the gig. Tell the stuffed suit to go jam a few reams in your first few days. You have to establish dominance over those types or they'll walk all over you. Like in a prison movie.

April 21, 2009 at 1:46 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

If you're anything like me, you'll last a week in that place. Luckily you're made of stronger stuff. Man stuff. Etc.

Twitter is becoming a massive publicity drive. Most people who follow me don't even post anything apart from websites and company names. Boo, hiss.

April 21, 2009 at 2:22 PM  
Anonymous popomatic Jeff said...

As long as it's news of people getting hired, I don't give a damn what the job is. Speaking of which, congrats on your new job.

April 21, 2009 at 3:08 PM  
Blogger Barlinnie said...

Twitter.. I tried it once, not for me. If I want twittering, I'll listen to the missus on the phone to her mammy.

As for the job... think of the money my friend.

April 21, 2009 at 3:34 PM  
Blogger ~E said...

Im wagering on 4 months before you tell them to kiss your a**.

Oh, it's only a three month contract?

Well, that is just damn good planning right there!

April 22, 2009 at 3:42 AM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

I was trying to figure out how money was to be made in Twitter and here we are. I'm so bored with the whole thing.

COngrats on the paycheck.

April 22, 2009 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger Jason Quinones said...

so...twintern's gonna type

"customer experiencing explosive diarrhea"

every twenty minutes.

i don't get it.

April 22, 2009 at 5:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

breathe. bank the check. think deep thoughts, or catch up on sleep, during your two hour plus commute... life is improvisational dance, you just gotta see what music plays next!

April 22, 2009 at 9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

great that you got a job. one step in a new direction... and hopefully the next one after that will be better - less hours, more pay

April 23, 2009 at 5:00 AM  

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