The Unbearable Banishment: All I Want for Christmas

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

All I Want for Christmas

I've been pumping out these stupid posts for close to four years now and have done so selflessly without asking for, nor expecting, any kind of compensation. I do it because I love you all so bloody much. I just want to be your performing chimp. But now it's time for you guys to step-up, band together and show me a little love. On December 13th, Sotheby's will hold an important rare book auction here in New York. I think it would be a special treat if you guys could somehow pool your resources and gift the following to me for Christmas:

A first edition of Ian Fleming's Goldfinger, inscribed to Raymond Chandler: To Ray. With much affection. From Ian.

Are you kidding me?! Do I want a first edition of Goldfinger inscribed by James Bond to Philip Marlowe? Yes, I do! Fleming, a book collector himself, rarely inscribed books. This is an association copy. An association copy is inscribed by the author to someone significant. It could be his wife or his editor or the guy who helped invent L.A. noir detective fiction. Estimate: $60,000-80,000. C'mon guys! You can do it! Pretty please. You can also pick up Chandler's personal copies of Casino Royale and Live and Let Die, but since they're not inscribed by Fleming, the estimate is a measly $7,000-10,000.

There's a large representation of signed Raymond Chandler books in this auction. There are many personal copies, including his own copy of The Big Sleep, lovingly inscribed to himself: For me. Without my compliments. Raymond Chandler. Riverside. February 1, 1939.

The fact that it's signed in the year of publication (perhaps the DAY OF publication) is significant to collectors. Estimate: $60,000-80,000.

Longtime readers know how much Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird means to me. It changed the course of my life. Well, here's my one and only chance to own a signed first edition. The estimate is $20,000-30,000 but, really, how do you put a price on something that transcends monetary value?

There are a few oddities in the auction, including Charlie Chaplin's bowler hat (estimate $15,000-20,000) and, perhaps strangest of all, the original Apple Computer Partnership Agreement and Dissolution of Contract signed by Jobs, Wozniak and Ronald G. Wayne in 1976. The estimate is an astronomical $100,000-150,000! I suppose some wealthy computer geek would be interested in this. Personally, I'd go for the copy of Goldfinger. Jobs signed his name in all lower case letters. What a weirdo.

I have a pretty healthy collection of Graham Greene first editions. There's one title that NEVER comes on the market; his third novel, Rumour at Nightfall. Greene so despised this book that he had it suppressed immediately after its publication. The only way you're going to read this and find out just how bad it is, is to buy a first edition. And this spectacular example is estimated at $50,000-60,000.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

no but I can give you a youtube link of nelson muntz mocking you

December 1, 2011 at 4:08 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

I once left my boys for a week-end's sailing with my sisiter and she was puzzled by the younger boy's
"I want nobby guts!"
On my return I translated what I, his mother told him all the time:
"I want never gets!"
Sorry ducks.

December 1, 2011 at 6:17 AM  
Blogger Mitzi G Burger said...

Best I can offer is booze-fulled nights with my writer friends and I...who will give you autographed copies of their zines... Meanwhile, enjoy the Holiday Hooplah.

December 1, 2011 at 6:33 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Anon: I had to Google Nelson Munz. I'm not bragging. I hate being so out of step.

Pat: I'm sure you would if you could. If money were not object. Right?

Mitzi: Actually, that sounds like a pretty great consolation prize! When/where can I collect?

December 1, 2011 at 6:44 AM  
Blogger savannah said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

December 1, 2011 at 5:03 PM  
Blogger savannah said...

sure, what ever you want, sugar! xoxoxoxo

(seriously, dude, i thought you were going to ask for something REALLY expensive!)

(you make me laugh.)

(i make me laugh.)

(you'll be getting my birthday present list very soon.)

(you have 30 days.)

December 1, 2011 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Sav: Listen, it's just an idea. You don't have to answer right away. You can think about it for a while and make up your mind. You have until December 13th.

December 1, 2011 at 5:24 PM  
Blogger mapstew said...

For Fuck Sake Man! You DO KNOW you already OWN my prize possession?!What more do ya need?

(There was a time I wouldn't even LEND that CD to friends! PRICELESS!!) :¬)

(WV = 'stexuate' and I couldn't stexuate more if I tried!) :¬)

December 1, 2011 at 7:46 PM  
Blogger Here In Franklin said...

Best I can do is offer to introduce to someone whose father entertained Harper Lee once at his home at the University of the South where she was speaking. Does that count? Also, I can cook you some grits that'll make you cry they're so good.

December 1, 2011 at 8:29 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

My dear map: I haven't lost an ounce of appreciation for the music. But my posts are of the highest quality! Exhaustively constructed and carefully combed through for any errors. A $60K book isn't that much to ask for all things considered.

HIF: To hell with the book. I'll take the grits. Can I get a side of bacon with that?

December 1, 2011 at 9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is the Greene book really all that bad?

December 2, 2011 at 4:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm in for a you just need about 58,000 more.

December 6, 2011 at 2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ho ho ho

December 8, 2011 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger Eryl said...

If I had the wherewithal it woud be yours. But, this year, I don't, next year who knows? This year, though, I can point you toward a rather splendid Harper Lee story, and it's about something she got for Christmas though she didn't know she wanted it. You may know it already, but if not go here (sorry I can't remember how to link so you'll have to copy and paste):

December 12, 2011 at 5:38 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

Hope all well. Miss you:)

December 19, 2011 at 11:30 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...

Just checkin' pal. Hope all is good. :¬)

December 22, 2011 at 7:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope this means that you got everything and are in a bliss of rare book reading. Happy Christmas from Lancaster!

December 24, 2011 at 3:48 AM  
Blogger Scarlet Blue said...


Where are you...?? You are very quiet.


December 24, 2011 at 4:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Xmas UB xx

December 25, 2011 at 5:14 PM  
Blogger Pat said...


December 27, 2011 at 6:59 PM  
Blogger Here In Franklin said...

Happy New Year,Mark. Hope all is well with you and yours.

December 31, 2011 at 10:10 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

All best wishes for 2012.

January 2, 2012 at 4:57 AM  
Blogger savannah said...

happy new year, sugarplum! xoxoxoxox

(yeah, i got tired of waiting for you...) ;)

January 2, 2012 at 2:35 PM  
Blogger Kono said...

Where ya been? Happy New Year and all that, hope all is well.

January 3, 2012 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger Scarlet Blue said...

Happy New Year!

January 3, 2012 at 11:34 AM  
Anonymous dinahmow said...

We left you to enjoy your holiday in peace.
But we would like you back, y'know. I hope you're not going to "do a Kyknoord" on us!

January 8, 2012 at 9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's in the post!

January 9, 2012 at 3:11 AM  

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