The Unbearable Banishment: a message to the dearly departed

Thursday, January 1, 2009

a message to the dearly departed

Dear 2008:

GO FUCK YOURSELF. Seriously. I danced on your grave on this cold, bright morning.

If you read this idiot blog on a semi-regular basis, you might come to believe that I've been dealt a pretty strong hand. I’ve got a great wife, two daughters who love me unconditionally and I have some interesting hobbies that are pretty innocuous. All true. (I occasionally spend a bit too much on a rare book, but at least my vice isn't whisky. Or whores. Or gambling. Or all three.)

I don’t reveal a lot of dark matter in my blog, nor should I. Some things are not fit for public consumption. But take my word for it; 2008 was a bucket of raw, untreated sewage poured slowly over my head with an end-of-year grand finale that I'm still trying to come to terms with.

Good riddance you parasite. You fraud. You’ve leached my happiness for 12 long months and I’m glad you’re gone.

10 Comments:

OpenID daisyfae said...

here's hoping that the Baby New Year doesn't have that "projectile vomiting" habit from last year...

January 1, 2009 at 9:04 AM  
Blogger ~E said...

I guess if you had to have sewage poured over you, it WOULD help if it was treated.

My year wasn't so much having nasty things dumped ON me more so I was wading waste deep in it.

Same diff...Here's to a better year to you and me!

January 1, 2009 at 3:47 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

The allusions and this post, I find, are pretty dark.

Hope that things are on the upswing for you and yours in the new year.

For me, this past year was good to even, compared to the past few. I'm definitely looking for improvements in the coming weeks and months. As it stands today, however, uncertainty appears to be ruling.

January 1, 2009 at 4:56 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

daisy: Nice metaphor. Seems appropriate.

E: Yes, one year of swimming in “it” is quite enough for me (us).

rob: Here’s the odd thing…my sister called and said this post made her laugh out loud. You found it quite dark. The truth is somewhere in between. Isn’t it always?

January 1, 2009 at 5:25 PM  
OpenID anniegirl1138 said...

Cryptic. Intriguing.

Things, of course, could be worse in 2009 but let's hope for better things.

January 1, 2009 at 5:51 PM  
OpenID thegnukid said...

"...other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

i'm with you on saying goodbye to a most malodorous and distasteful year. may your new year treat you much better than a dog treats a fire hydrant.

January 1, 2009 at 9:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great analogy, however, being the eternal optimist, and no my balloon never lands 2009 will be better....should be, will be!

Happy and healthy 2009 to you and yours!

Farewell to the DUBYA years!

posted by A Browns Fan from the land of Cleveburgh...

January 1, 2009 at 10:52 PM  
Blogger Sonny Amou said...

A-effing-men, amigo!

2008 FAIL.

SA

January 2, 2009 at 12:29 AM  
Anonymous Greg said...

you are correct sir. but what about those things from 2008 that so easily crept their way to 2009 already??? what are we to make of those. awaiting eagerly for an answer, because....I, unfortunately, have a few that may linger...and I'm not quoting "The Cranberries"....although I love the lead singers voice. Happy New Year.

January 2, 2009 at 4:40 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Yowza. What went down? Happ(ier) new year.

January 3, 2009 at 9:50 AM  

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