The Unbearable Banishment: i givith but my cell phone jammer taketh away

Friday, June 5, 2009

i givith but my cell phone jammer taketh away

Seated next to me on the train was a 20-something Mexican girl. The conductor informed her that since it was rush hour, she needed to step-up her off-peak ticket an additional $1.50. She didn’t speak English but eventually understood his request.

She reached into her wallet and handed the conductor a $100 bill which, of course, he could not break. It was all the money she had so the conductor pantomimed that she would have to get off at the next stop. She didn’t speak English but by the look on her face I could tell that she clearly understood THAT.

I, hero that I am, handed the conductor the $1.50. She said gracias several times. Then do you know what that ungrateful little bitch did? She popped a Bluetooth in her ear and started loudly yammering away into her cell phone. The volume knob on her voice was set at 8. If there’s a language spoken faster than Spanish, I’m not aware of it (especially if it’s being spoken by a 20-something Mexican girl with a high-pitch, grating voice).

Fortunately for my fellow passengers and I, my cell phone jammer was running on a fresh charge. Of course, I tormented her for several minutes by allowing her to reconnect her call and then knocking out her service. It was delicious fun and she deserved it. I don’t speak Spanish, but I’m pretty sure she was referring to Sprint in derogatory terms.

I can be agreeable but if you cross me I’ll turn on you.
* * *
Latest News story link on CNN homepage that I cannot possibly click on this early in the morning:
Ducklings down drain, mom quacks for help

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9 Comments:

OpenID hereinfranklin said...

That's hysterical. And she should really switch to Verizon...much better service than Sprint.

June 5, 2009 at 7:51 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

HIF: I can assure you that once my cell phone jammer is activated, your choice of carrier is irrelevant.

June 5, 2009 at 8:34 AM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Hehe. That's gratitude for you, isn't it?

How many times on average do you have to cut someone off before they get the hint and shut up, by the way?

June 5, 2009 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger sid said...

Oh I absolutely love eavesdropping on peoples' conversations. Love it.

June 5, 2009 at 8:58 AM  
Anonymous Rob said...

UB: Yet another great "Tale from the Train"! Thanks for giving us some laughs over breakfast!

June 5, 2009 at 9:05 AM  
OpenID daisyfae said...

i still think you need a "Cap'n Jammer" line of superhero pajamas...

June 5, 2009 at 12:00 PM  
Blogger Jimmy Bastard said...

Pure class.

June 5, 2009 at 4:01 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Jo: Depends on their personality type. Type “A” passengers are harder to discourage than stoner passengers. But they all succumb in the end.

Sid: I USE to love eavesdropping on conversations until I was subject to it every single day. Plus, she was yapping in Spanish, which I do not understand.

Rob: Happy to oblige. Hope you didn’t spit out your corn flakes.

Daisy: But Captain Jammer sleeps in the raw. Seriously! This may become an issue when the daughters get older.

Jimmy Bastard! Where’ve you been! Welcome back, my friend.

June 5, 2009 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger Kevin P said...

Unbearbearable... you are my hero:)
Now what model do you sport ... I used to have a Spymodex XT model which worked great til some of the antennas busted (my fault of course) and I am looking to get the 2009 model which is multifunctional (jams cellies, Wifi, and Bluetooth! WOOT:)

June 6, 2009 at 1:44 AM  

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