The Unbearable Banishment: Auto accident

Friday, November 6, 2009

Auto accident

Sister #1 was hit by a drunk driver last night. Teen niece was in the car with her. Sister spent most of the night in the hospital and, after a healthy dose of morphine, was sent home where she slept, according to her, better than she has in years. Too bad it takes morphine to do that. Niece was examined and released. Both are “okay,” thank God, but I lectured them to monitor their health because injuries can lie dormant.

The car is pretty much totaled. She was turning left and Drunky turned right wide into their lane and slammed into them. He, coward that he is, took off but someone followed him home. The police were called and a small militia showed up. The car in the driveway was generously detailed with paint from Sister’s car. The police entered the home to search for him, but he was found cowering in the bushes, reeking of alcohol. As of this writing, he is in jail.

I got this news halfway to Washington, D.C., where we drove to visit relatives. I was so consumed with the revenge fantasy of splitting this guy’s head open with an axe that I missed a turn off and got on the wrong freeway.

The penalty for this crime is far too lenient. If you drive drunk, you a child molester. You are a murderer. You eviscerate puppies. I despise drunk drivers have NEVER had any sympathy for alcoholics.

Here’s an oldie but a goodie.

* * *

Alcoholism is not a disease and I resent it being treated as such. It’s an insult to people who are actually battling a disease. Labeling it as a disease makes it sound like something you could helplessly fall victim to. Something that couldn't be avoided. Horseshit. You can’t quit cancer. You can’t quit leukemia. But you can sure as hell quit drinking. I’ve seen it done plenty of times.

I don’t know of too many diseases that will allow you to go out on a Saturday night, party your ass off and then drive head-on into a van full of kids. I’ve had alcoholics in my life and do you know what? They tend to be a bunch of big fucking babies. As soon as they stumble into a room, they have to be the center of attention and need to be indulged and mollycoddled and understood because, after all, the poor dear has a disease. If you love an alcoholic, get ready to suffer. And you will continue to suffer until he/she decides to do something about it (if ever). Or, conversely, you could leave them.

Ptuy. Fuck ‘em. Losers.


Blogger savannah said...

amen, brother!

keeping good thoughts for your sister & niece. xoxo

November 6, 2009 at 5:08 PM  
Anonymous neeeekole. said...

aww i love this! and i love you. sorry you missed your exit but its safe to say i missed my ZZZ's last night because of the visions i had of hurting him -_-. i agree with the disease thing. people are pathetic. ugh!

November 6, 2009 at 5:55 PM  
Blogger Pueblo girl said...

From UB, October:
"You do what you have to. It used to be weed, drunk driving and some unprotected sex. Now it's piano recitals at Carnegie Hall. It sounds boring, but it isn't."
I agree with what you're saying, but also remember a time when I was less than do you, it seems.
Best wishes for your sister and niece.

November 6, 2009 at 6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

glad they're ok and that the local citizenry kept watch to make sure the other driver is held accountable...

November 6, 2009 at 7:56 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Savannah: Thanks for your thoughts.

N: Keep an eye on your mom. Make her go to a doctor if she needs it.

PG: Thank you for your good wishes but here's the honest-to-God's truth: I have never gotten behind the wheel while drunk. Those words that you quote back to me were an embellishment to make for a more interesting post. It's not the first time I've done that and I don't suppose I'm the only one guilty of that crime.

Daisy: Actually, there were several cars around and all but one drove off.

November 6, 2009 at 8:10 PM  
Blogger Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

I've thought this for ages, alcohol is not a disease. You can give it up. I don't understand people who drink until they can barely stand, then think they're ok to drive. And I understand less, people who let them, or get in the car with them.

November 6, 2009 at 8:26 PM  
Blogger mapstew said...

There's a debate going on in this country about what the safe legal limit of alcohol/driving should be.

D'uh! ZERO!

Yet it's still a debate!


Hope your family are ok.


November 6, 2009 at 10:30 PM  
Blogger ~E said...

my 13 year old cousin was hit by a dd last year in new york. her and her best friend were walking home from tennis practice. she died and her best friend saw the whole thing. i hope all people who decide to drive drunk rot in hell.

November 7, 2009 at 4:21 AM  
Anonymous nursemyra said...

Wow - lucky escape for your sister and niece, so glad it wasn't worse

November 7, 2009 at 4:22 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

TE: It's certainly not and EASY thing to give up. I don't want to make light of that struggle. But It's not an incurable disease and shouldn't be treated as such.

Map: Thanks. Everyone is okay. I think *I* was rattled more than the rest of them. That's one of my buttons to push.

E: A horrible, horrible story. I'm so sorry. I have the creeping fear that this sort of thing won't end anytime soon.

Nurse: Thank you. And, no, there will be no Duchamp exhibit while I'm here. Unfortunately, it's all suburbs, all the time. Did you see the review of the Bauhaus exhibit that just opened at MoMA?

November 7, 2009 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger Cat said...

When a drunk someone crashes into someone else, it can't be called an accident. Some more accurate terms would be car crash, car wreck, or attempted murder.

November 7, 2009 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger Ellie said...

I understand your rage. I sincerely hope there are no dormant injuries.

I have to disagree on the assessment of alcoholism though. Alcoholism is a disease. It's hereditary and chemical. Too many people bandy the word "alcoholism" about too easily - demeaning the true disease that it is.

Someone who drinks too much is not an alcoholic; even someone who uses it as a crutch for an extended period of time is not necessarily an alchie; yet, someone who hasn't had a drink in over 25 years can still be an alcoholic -- like one of the most admirable men in my family.

Assuming alcoholism is a disease, still does not mean that it is ever an excuse or a vindication for stupid behaviour like drunk driving.

November 7, 2009 at 10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you everyone for your kind words. E-I am truly sorry to hear about your cousin she must have been our angel that evening. If nothing else it taught my 18 yr old daughter what could happen if you drive & drink. Knowing her she will personally see to it that every single one of her friends never drive drunk. I hope the drunk that hit us spends lots of time behind bars & not the kind that serves drinks! Sister #1-

November 7, 2009 at 10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

glad they're okay

and, wow, do i understand that 'revenge fantasy' thing. i've been having quite a few of them of late. good thing you didn't let it consume you and do worse than just miss an exit.

November 7, 2009 at 1:43 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Cat: As Hamlet would say, words, words, words! It's a day later and he's still in jail.

Ellie: I have so much respect for you that I'm going to soften my tone (as soon as my anger subsides) and meditate on your words.

MT: What are you doing out of bed? Take your meds and go lay down.

Gnu: My revenge fantasies have never materialized into reality. Thank god. Sometimes, that's not so easy to do.

November 7, 2009 at 1:55 PM  
Blogger Here In Franklin said...

UB--so glad your sister and niece are ok...what a scary event for your entire family. I swear, I've gotten so I hate to even drive at night, just wondering about who else is out there. I just got back from an annual gathering of girlfriends--we rent a lakeside house every year just so we can enjoy everyone's company without having to drive anywhere. Yes--we overindulge. But we only have to go down the stairs to get to our beds.

November 8, 2009 at 5:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope your family is ok.

November 8, 2009 at 7:06 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Late on this but remember the drunk driver i refused to get in the car with that i blogged about last month?

Guess what, on his way home he got pulled over, breathalised and taken to court. So long, driving licence.

November 11, 2009 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

I'm sorry for sister. And there's no justification for drunk driving. Ever. But, your attitude toward alcoholics bothers me. Do you consider depression a disease? What about schizophrenia? What about eating disorders? Where do you draw the line between what is a disease and what isn't? Alcoholism has a genetic and physiological basis. There's a big difference between someone who drinks a lot on the weekend and someone who is an alcoholic. The latter has a disease and yes, it is one that can be treated - as can cancer - but it is more complicated than just saying 'man up and quit'.

November 12, 2009 at 7:44 PM  

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