The Unbearable Banishment: Stinking rotten happy ketchup face

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Stinking rotten happy ketchup face

I was sitting at the counter of a diner reading the New York Times and waiting for my patty melt with bacon. Before my burger was ready, the waiter brought my plate of fries. In addition to the fries, this is what he placed in front of me:

It defies commentary. I didn't know what his game was but you can bet your ass I kept my eye on him for the remainder of my lunch. Fucking creep.

[EDIT to comments: It's a joke, people! I don't think he's creepy for making a smiley face with ketchup. Jeeze! That sure fell flat. I thought I was being sarcastic and witty. I guess I'm no David Sedaris.]

* * *

Do you like Sam Shepard? Well, if you have the money to do so, starting next month at the Atlantic Theater, you can see Ages of the Moon, the U.S. premier of the new Sam Shepard comedy/drama starring Stephen Rea and Seán McGinley. It played at the Abbey Theater in Dublin to superb reviews and a sold out run.


You can see a revival of Sam Shepard's A Lie of the Mind directed by Ethan Hawke and starring Laurie Metcalf, Josh Hamilton and Keith Carradine.

If you have the money. Shit.


Blogger savannah said...

i'm surprised y'all were even able to eat lunch!

if i had the money i would most certainly be in nyc, sugar! and i'd buy y'all tickets, too! xoxoxo

December 12, 2009 at 5:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what? you think that's creepy? i think it's charming! anyone who makes food faces is a bit of alright in my book... who put the crabbies in your wheaties, mr banishment?

December 12, 2009 at 5:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with daisyfae on this one, UB. Merry Fucking Christmas to you too!

Do you know what a soul sucking job it is to work in the service industry?

I hope you left a big fat tip!

December 12, 2009 at 6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Daisy too...I love it and will make an effort to serve more smiley food faces.

December 12, 2009 at 6:25 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Me too with Daisy, Unknown, & Franklin. Unless he did some kind of weird wink or butt pat! ;-)

December 12, 2009 at 6:38 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

I have to come down on the side of creepy for the ketchup face. Firmly on that side, lol.

I went to school with one of those actors, and had an enormous gigantic crush. I won't say which one though in the interests of propriety.

December 12, 2009 at 6:48 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Dearest Friends: Please see edit on post. So sorry to all.

December 12, 2009 at 7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh. that's very different.

never mind...

December 12, 2009 at 7:12 PM  
Blogger Jimmy Bastard said...

Different food type, but similar theme. I once had a barman who insisted on putting a love heart on the head of my stout.

Ask yourself... do I look loveable to you?

December 12, 2009 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger Leah said...

Don't worry, I knew you were being funny! It wasn't that opaque.

December 12, 2009 at 8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

glad to see people like that, even in the big city. there's hope for humanity

December 12, 2009 at 11:14 PM  
Blogger savannah said...

i've been in the south too long. *sigh*

December 12, 2009 at 11:35 PM  
Blogger Poindexter said...

oh my goodness, don't tell my girlfriend - she loves Sam & I'd be trying to scrounge up the $ for a trip to new york. I'm sure it would be completely lovely, just not in the budget.

also glad to know you were kidding about the smile made out of ketchup. it's nice.

December 13, 2009 at 12:07 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Jimmy: They do that here in New York, as well! It's sacrilege.

Gnu: Contrary to my sarcasm, I actually thought it was pretty funny. It gave me a smile, which was its intent.

Savannah: You haven't been in the south too long. My scribbling is too vague.

Point: Shepard is known mainly for his acting roles and being married to Jessica Lange, but he's a hell of a playwright.

December 13, 2009 at 9:09 AM  
Blogger bob said...

I saw one of the first previews of the original production of Lie of the mind. Geraldine Page (who later taught me to fly ... one of my favorite dreams), Amanda Plummer, Harvey Keitel, Aiden Quinn, Will Patton, etc .. in the mid-80s, long before I lived in NY. Fanstastic, but it lasted over 4 hours.

Sam and Jessica were two rows behind me, he was furiously scribbling notes and I was wishing he served dinner with the show. Many cuts were made, but to see all those people on stage at one time ... brilliant.

December 13, 2009 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

December 14, 2009 at 3:29 AM  
Anonymous Jo said...

Haha...fear not, I picked up on the sarcasm. I was about to write something equally sarcastic about happy go lucky smiley facey Americans. But I don't feel like getting lynched by the mob today, so I think I'll leave it.

December 14, 2009 at 3:30 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...


@Jimmy; They could put the face of Jesus on top of me Guinness, wouldn't stop us from drinking it!

WV = abman. (Must get back to the gym!)

December 14, 2009 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

People who spread cheer piss me off.

December 14, 2009 at 6:13 PM  

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