The Unbearable Banishment: I call bullshit on Emily Blunt and other sundry items

Saturday, January 9, 2010

I call bullshit on Emily Blunt and other sundry items

Emily Blunt was recently out promoting her new film The Young Victoria and she went on one of those "I am a most serious ac-tor" rambles that you occasionally hear from entertainers for whom success came way too early and way too easy.

It's just never been important to me to make a big splash and I don't care for it.

You studied acting but the size of your audience is irrelevant? Okay, whatever. You're an idiot. I can't stand it when entertainers turn their success into a burden.

Singer Nora Jones (All of her songs sound exactly alike. Boring.) said of the meteoric success of her first album:

On the first record I was everywhere, and it was, like, the worst time in my life.

Nora is also an idiot. Then that little punk Michale Cera (Plays the same character in every film. Boring.) said:

I don’t really want to be famous, and I’m kind of scared that might be happening.

Then why did you get into acting?! Another idiot. I think Emily and Michael and Nora should all be loaded aboard a rocket ship pointed towards obscurity and failure. I volunteer to press the ignition button.

Last month I posted this quote from Brad Pitt:

It's so tough being an actor. Sometimes they bring you coffee and sometimes it's cold. And sometimes you don't have a chair to sit on.

See the difference?
* * *

My most recent fortune from a fortune cookie:

Hard times are behind you. Impossible ones lie just ahead

That's what I'm afraid of.

* * *

Sunday is the 20th anniversary and 450th episode of The Simpsons. I have never watched an episode of The Simpsons. It's not something I avoided and I'm not trying to sound like I'm above that sort program. I just never got around to watching it.

I have also never seen Gone With the Wind, The Sound of Music or an episode of The Wire. But I did see Laurence of Arabia at the Zigfield in Manhattan, which has a monster screen. That was pretty cool.

15 Comments:

Blogger Leah said...

I love when you do a take-down post.

January 9, 2010 at 10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you seem rather bitter.

January 9, 2010 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Cat said...

I am proud to say I've never seen Titanic. It could be that I'm the only person over the age of 15 who hasn't. My little claim to fame.

January 9, 2010 at 1:03 PM  
OpenID tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

Before I begin, I just have to say that the comment from "Anonymous" made me laugh out loud. Whoever it is can't be a regular reader. Unless, of course, they were going for the comedy.

The quotes from those eschewing fortune and fame reminded me of a song by a band I stumbled onto several years ago. The band is called Fisher and they wrote and recorded a song in response to - I believe - a speech someone named Fiona Apple gave at the Grammy awards one year. They used to have an mp3 of the tune on their site, but it's gone now. However, the lyrics are posted. It's rather apropos, don't you think?

The Life



I listened to you / / from your pedestal
Telling us all how your world was full of shit
Why couldn't you bow and say, "Thank you all"...
To everyone who made you what you are

It sent my heart, hurt, crashing down
'Cause these are my dreams your bashing

YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE
CAN'T YOU SEE YOU ARE LIVING THE LIFE
YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE THAT I ONLY DREAM

The kingdom you own - does it bring you down?
I'll gladly relieve you of
you're big, shiny crown

You say it's so frus-trat-ing now
I can't believe you're faking

LIVING THE LIFE
SEEMS TO ME YOU ARE LIVING THE LIFE
YOU'RE LIVING A WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL
LIFE

Tell me would you really rather be
a nobody nobody knows?

YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE
DON'T YOU SEE YOU ARE LIVING THE LIFE
YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE THAT I WANTED

YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME MY DREAM IS A LIE
'CAUSE THIS IS THE WAY THAT I FILL MY HEART
FILL MY HEART

Why don't you go wrong place
fly away home
fly away home
Go on and Go
Why Don't You Go
fly away home
find your way home

As to the fortune cookie fortune, I hope it's seriously off the mark.

January 9, 2010 at 1:38 PM  
Blogger Here In Franklin said...

I'v heard of James Blunt, but not Emily. Never heard of the Cera guy either. I've never seen the Simpsons and there are always Simpsons clues in the NYT crossword and it makes me crazy. I am, however, addicted to The Real Housewives on Orange County.

January 9, 2010 at 2:55 PM  
OpenID daisyfae said...

"Fame. I want to live forever..."

in a culture that celebrates small achievements from pretty people? they really aren't going to live forever. there's another one just around the corner....

i take some solace in that...

January 9, 2010 at 3:04 PM  
Blogger Poindexter said...

I love it when celebrities or pseudo-celebrities whine!

January 9, 2010 at 3:10 PM  
Blogger St Jude said...

Oh please don't tell me they are trying to say it is all in the art.. after seeing Emily, I have to say, maybe a little more practice deary. Or she could go for her much needed obscurity. I have seen some episodes of the Simpsons, it was the only way that I could engage one of my cases.

January 9, 2010 at 3:13 PM  
OpenID anniegirl1138.com said...

being famous is cool but desiring it is seen as not so much by those who have it.

two of my blogging friends were recently named the most influential women on Twitter. Laugh. But Twitter is a hugely influential medium - whether for good or complete evil is still open for debate.

Anyway, one of them has spent time the last few days severely down-playing and pretending she is still just "folk" like other moms, which she isn't anymore, while the other just said thank you and marveled at the enormity of the feat and what it might mean.

There is an age gap - like the examples you cited. Pitt is older and has had time to get real. My second friend example is also older and wiser.

I can understand fearing the loss of anonymity and the expectations that come with fame and the fear that it might be fleeting, hence the need to downplay lest you meet up with the envious on your way back down.

January 9, 2010 at 6:09 PM  
OpenID thegnukid said...

if it helps, i don't even know who the hell Emily Blunt is... take THAT, self-indulgent and pretentious actors!

January 9, 2010 at 6:52 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I always thought George Clooney had it pretty sorted in a Brad Pitt kind of way, too. I like it when actors embrace their fame a little bit. Like when Clooney played a trick on the paparazzi by playing on a rumour that someone famous was getting married at his house. Instead of denying it, he put a huge marquee up in his garden, getting tables, chairs and party stuff delivered...resulting in the paps spending vast amounts of money putting helicopters into the air to take photos of it all. Genius.

In regards to the Simpsons stuff, I only watched Scarface and The Godfather this August. That's blasphemy for a girl with a masters in film studies. Luckily, I got to see them on the big screen at the cinema, so it was worth the wait. (Well Scarface was, I thought the Godfather was really boring. Blasphemy, again)

January 9, 2010 at 10:08 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Leah: Let me know when I go on too long.

Anon: Who? Me?

Cat: You're not missing much. Don't believe the hype.

Rob: Anon is probably a Michael Cera fan. Or the man, himself. Mrs. Wife and I actually SAW Finoa Apple open for Chris Issac and all she did was complain throughout her whole set. What a pill!

HIF: My not so secret addiction is Survivor. It's the original and I can't get enough of it.

Daisy: What an insane aspiration. Living forever. It's tough to live up to.

Point: Typically, I am amused by their boo-hoo-hooing but sometimes it rubs me the wrong way.

St. Jude: Emily's movie got lukewarm reviews here in the States. I'm just point out.

Annie: Twitter is not to be scoffed at. It helped propel a revolution in Iran.

Jo: Guys like Clooney, Pitt and Springsteen seem to handle their fame with a great amount of dignity. Scarface was too violent and over the top for sensitive old me.

January 9, 2010 at 11:17 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

It was really hard for me when I was famous. So hard I opted for a obscure job in IT where customers bash me with relish. *Has strange vision of self covered in chopped pickles*

I wish I had never seen Titanic. Cat, stay strong.

January 10, 2010 at 4:17 AM  
Anonymous Nurse H said...

I think you should netflix the Simpson's DVDs. Knowing you as I do, I think you would most certainly appreciate it. And yeah, celebs need to stop complaining.

January 10, 2010 at 10:45 AM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

Norah Jones' songs do all sound the same. That is all.

January 11, 2010 at 6:54 PM  

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