The Unbearable Banishment: An open letter to God

Saturday, February 27, 2010

An open letter to God

Dear God. Or Jehovah. Or Jesus. Or Jupiter. Or Allah. Or Buddha. Or Zeus. Or Gwydion. Or Yahweh. Or Beelzebub (yeah, I'll go there). Or G_d. Or Thor.

Anyone. Whoever is out there listening.

Please.

NO MORE motherfucking SNOW! Enough already! I'm a beaten man, okay? Every weekend there's a fresh 8-12 inches of new snow dumped on our asses. You've beaten me. You've beaten us all. You've beaten the entire northeast corridor from Boston down to D.C. You set a record for snowfall. The most ever. Good for you. Well done. But that's enough. Okay?

More relaxing than it looks.

Guess what happened right after this was taken?

Drifts taller than a 3-year old.

15 Comments:

Blogger mapstew said...

C'mon, I know it's bad, but what fun! WHAT FUN!!

(The sun is shining here, the end is surely nigh?)

:¬)

February 27, 2010 at 11:29 PM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

At least you can make snowmen and have snowball fights with that stuff!

Ours is so dry it doesn't stick together at all. :-(

And it's cold... really cold... for a long, looooong time.

BUT! You get used to it! So suck it up, honey... what with global warming and climate extremes, this may become the norm for you now.

Isn't THAT a pleasant thought?

February 27, 2010 at 11:58 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

And no more motherfucking earthquakes for a little while too! Do you think He (She / It) is listening?

February 28, 2010 at 3:17 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Map: It IS fun, but I prefer this type of fun in much smaller doses. [Re: your post time. Don't you ever sleep?]

Ponita: "Suck is up" is not only the best advice I'll get all day, it's words of wisdom to live your life by.

Ellie: Can you believe it!? Poor Haiti got pushed right off the front pages. Between the blizzards and earthquakes, I'd say we were being punished for something. But I can't connect the crime.

February 28, 2010 at 8:58 AM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Glad I could help! :-D

February 28, 2010 at 9:30 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...

I'm a night owl!

(It's the gigs, get in late and have a beer and a scout round the blogs before I can sleep!) :¬)

February 28, 2010 at 10:03 AM  
OpenID daisyfae said...

it's harder to appreciate the warmth of spring after a mild winter... ok. that's bullshit. but i was trying to be comforting and all that...

February 28, 2010 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger savannah said...

it's the end of the world as we know it...

i kid, sugar! but i swear, we may not have snow, but it's is damn cold here! xoxoxo

February 28, 2010 at 1:05 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Snow seems so alien at the moment. It's hard to imagine the rest of the world in winter.

Odd.

February 28, 2010 at 6:30 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Daisy: That is a load of bullshit. And photos of your toes dangling in the warm blue water haven't helped matters.

Savannah: I often think that you guys must be suffering worse than we are. At least we've been through this before. Did you have to revamp your wardrobe?

Jo: Taking your posts into consideration, I would think that you're about as far away from snow as one could possibly get. We all live in our own little tide pools.

February 28, 2010 at 7:41 PM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Ha! None of you guys know cold!!! When it gets to -62C with the wind (and yes, that does happen here in Winnipeg... not all that often, but it does) then you know cold.

But we often have temps colder than -30C during the winter. You get used to it, dress for it, and we have good insulation in our houses and block heaters in our cars.

All that, however, means we really appreciate the warmer weather when it arrives.

Of course, then we have to deal with mosquitoes, but I'll wait for summer to complain about them.

Appreciate what you have and the make the most of it. Live life to its fullest, no matter what god (or mother nature or whoever) throws at you!

February 28, 2010 at 10:33 PM  
Anonymous sid said...

Ha spent my Sunday getting burnt to a crisp. Was seriously hot in CT this weekend.

March 1, 2010 at 3:30 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Ponita: Winnipeg?! It sounds more like they colonized Pluto. 10,000 congrats on your hockey gold. Back where it belongs.

Sid: At this point, "seriously hot" has lost it's meaning to me. What is that? They're not longer words. Just sounds.

March 1, 2010 at 7:33 AM  
OpenID tomeoftheunknownblogger said...

Divine retribution, that's what it is.

'Round these parts, we seem to be having an early spring. Haven't had any snow in weeks and what we have is melting at a furious pace.

Can't believe I spent money on a snow blower this year. Only used the damned thing twice.

March 1, 2010 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger fwengebola said...

You couldda gone for Haiti there, or Chile, but no.
Snow.
Snow

March 3, 2010 at 5:29 PM  

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