The Unbearable Banishment: A public service announcement

Saturday, May 8, 2010

A public service announcement

Your friends at your local New Jersey Bottle King...


Your discount beer emporium...


Would like to remind you that tomorrow is Mother's Day. So...


Because that's how we roll in The Garden State.

This gives me the same "where did we go wrong?" sensation I get when I'm in an elevator in Manhattan and see a man with meticulously manicured nails (including clear nail polish).

15 Comments:

OpenID daisyfae said...

you know, my kids have been gone awhile... wonder if they're shopping at The Bottle King? There are worse gifts for Mom. Home electrolysis, incontinence undergarments and ultrasonic denture cleaner come to mind...

May 8, 2010 at 6:19 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

Makes a change from flowers and chocolates.

May 8, 2010 at 6:44 PM  
Blogger Pueblo girl said...

Mother's ruin and all that. Nice to see some traditions aven't died...

May 8, 2010 at 6:57 PM  
Blogger Pueblo girl said...

Haven't, Haven't.

May 8, 2010 at 6:57 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Daisy: You're not implying that your kids gave you one of the gifts you mention? Surely not. Unless they were trying to be clever.

Pat: It's the kind of change that will get you conked over the head with a bottle of Blue Moon.

PG: But aven't sounds so Cockney. I like it better.

May 8, 2010 at 7:07 PM  
Blogger savannah said...

from the state that brought us jersey shore why am i not surprised, sugar? but, hey, a nice cold beer on a hot day... xoxoxox

May 8, 2010 at 7:14 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Savannah: The irony about Jersey Shore is that NONE of those people are from New Jersey! They're all out-of-towners (Staten Island, Brooklyn, etc.) who invade the beach communities in the summer. For generations, they've been condescendingly referred to as "Bennies" by the natives.

May 8, 2010 at 7:17 PM  
Blogger Pueblo girl said...

I was obviously "in role".

May 8, 2010 at 7:41 PM  
Anonymous nursemyra said...

Is mauve their signature colour? Personally I'd quite like a gift from the bottle-o (mango vodka anyone?) for mother's day but I think I'm getting a cd or dvd.... still waiting on youngest son to arrive for lunch and it's 1:25 over here.....

May 8, 2010 at 11:26 PM  
Anonymous nursemyra said...

PS: happy mother's day to Mrs. UB

May 8, 2010 at 11:27 PM  
Anonymous RubyTwoShoes said...

Haha, as a (relatively) new mum, I say bring on the booze! I'm with Pat, it beats flowers and chocolate!

May 9, 2010 at 7:28 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...

And what did we bring back from Disney as gifts for me Ma?

Whiskey and Rosary beads!

Don't ask! :¬)

May 9, 2010 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Mom likes Schlitz.

May 9, 2010 at 3:17 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Nurse: It's so funny you should pick up on that! That building is vintage 1978 in color and design. Gruesome.

Ruby: Take it from me, the older they get, the more you'll appreciate a good discount beer store.

Map: Was the Mickey Mouse logo in place of a crucifix? Ooh. That's blasphemy, isn't it?

Ellie: I like your mom! What, no Pabst Blue Ribbon?

May 9, 2010 at 3:31 PM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

Man, I knew I should have gotten my Mom a case of Miller Light! Dammit!

May 10, 2010 at 9:25 PM  

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