The Unbearable Banishment: 8 From Limerick

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

8 From Limerick

My pal, Mapstew, threw these questions over the pond some time ago but life got in the way and I haven’t had an opportunity to answer them until just now. Sorry for the delay, sir.

1. Why did you start blogging?

For the money. And the chicks.

2. If you could travel anywhere in the world, with no restrictions on cost, where would it be, and why?

My gut answer was London because I love that town. But Mrs. Wife and I could use a friggin’ break so I’m going to say one of the Caribbean islands. Have you ever been down there? It’s other-worldly. The color palate is like nothing you’ve ever seen before in nature.

3. Did you have a teacher in school that had a great influence on your life? If so, what?

No. Not one. I floated through high school like a wisp of steam. That was the extent of my formal education. There was a Lieutenant Commander in the Coast Guard named Kent Mathews who was the only person who ever showed what can be considered a fatherly interest in me. Not even my own Da could be bothered.

4. If you could spend the day with a famous person, who would it be, and what would you do?

I’d like to go to Central Park on a balmy summer afternoon and sit on one of the big rocks by the 59th Street entrance and have a chat with Jesus Christ. I’d ask him, “Are you really the son of God?” I’d ask if he really did rise from the dead and if so, why didn’t he show himself to the masses? It would have made things a hell of a lot easier for a lot of people. Then I’d ask him to perform one miracle; get someone to pay me to write so I can stop this goddamn daily commuting. Oops. Sorry, JC.

5. Toilet paperover or under?

Over. And, yes, it matters to me. So much so that I change it when it’s under.

6. Name one thing in your life that you would do over if possible.

I think I’d relive the six years I spent in the Coast Guard. It was, pound-for-pound, the most satisfying job I‘ve ever had. It was a blast! I couldn’t believe they were paying me! I was on a search and rescue team for a bit and had a hand in saving some lives. More than once! You can’t imagine the god-like feeling you get when you pull someone out of the ocean who would have died if you hadn‘t showed up. The look of gratitude on their face can’t be described.

7. Tell us about your pets, if any.

We have a fish named Dennis. Mrs. Wife and I pray nightly for his longevity because The Daughters have gotten it into their heads that once Dennis dies, we’re getting a cat. I think they want to work their way up the evolutionary ladder.

8. Do you live in a small town or a large town?

C’mon. Are you kidding? I’m in THE large town.

* * *

If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.

Tee-hee.

17 Comments:

OpenID daisyfae said...

funny - that's the same two reasons I started blogging...

and by the way, i've got one from Limerick, and he's quite a good time! those Limerick boyz...

September 21, 2010 at 7:09 AM  
Anonymous Sid said...

Love the girls. My dad isn't a huge animal lover. Always put up a fight when we wanted to adopt one. Recently however I overheard him talking to my cat. He was not to worry; that he'd her full cream milk instead of the low fat shit.

September 21, 2010 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger Scarlet Blue said...

...I know, I started blogging in 2008 and I'm already a millionaire...
Sx

September 21, 2010 at 8:09 AM  
Blogger savannah said...

re: the joke, that cigar smoke really stays on the brain pan, don't it? ;~D xoxoxox

September 21, 2010 at 8:30 AM  
Blogger Rohan said...

My blog was actually named "For Money and a Woman" once. It took me a fair while for reality to sink in.

September 21, 2010 at 8:43 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Daisy: Have you achieved your stated goal for blogging? I'm still miles away.

Sid: Actually, I had two cats for about 14 years when I was single, so I don't have problem with them. I'll pass on a dog, though. Too needy.

SB: Another one or your witty sarcasms, I presume?

Savannah: I've got a million of them that are equally bad. Stay tuned.

Rohan: Ironically, my writing seems to repel money and women.

September 21, 2010 at 8:58 AM  
Blogger Everyday Goddess said...

You aced those!

heh heh, Oprah Chopra.

September 21, 2010 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

Chicks and money?
You can have the chicks - I'm off eggs but SHOW ME THE MONEY HONEY!
We had two goldfish who jumped out of the bowl every night they were named Hari and Kari.
Then we had a tortoise called Rosita. Guess why.

September 21, 2010 at 11:26 AM  
Blogger Ellie said...

This chick was here.

September 21, 2010 at 5:52 PM  
Blogger mapstew said...

Which came first, the chicks or the money?

Ta pal! :¬)

September 21, 2010 at 7:46 PM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

You can make money from blogging??? Really???

I don't care about the chicks. I *am* one and that's good enough for me! ;-)

September 21, 2010 at 9:33 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

EG: That's odd. I hardly ever ace my tests. I'll take it!

Pat: I, too, am waiting for the big payoff. Aren't we all? It's a pipe dream!

Ellie: Word.

Map: I'll take the money. It's WAY more practical.

Ponita: Of COURSE you can't make any money from blogging. That was one of my witty sarcasms.

September 21, 2010 at 9:43 PM  
OpenID Michele said...

if Yoko Ono had married Sonny Bono, she would be Yoko Ono Bono.

oh god. bad humor by association.

September 21, 2010 at 11:19 PM  
Anonymous dinahmow said...

And had Witney Houston married Gene Pitney...
Sorry! Couldn't help myself!
Even without the mega-bucks, you're still a good read,UB.

September 22, 2010 at 3:53 AM  
Anonymous nursemyra said...

Whitney Pitney rules!

September 22, 2010 at 5:17 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Michele: That one has been kicking around W. 130th St. for years.

Dinah: Thank you. Can I get the megabucks anyway? Why not me?

Nurse: Touche! Outdone in my own comments section!

September 22, 2010 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger TechnoBabe said...

I like your description of the Caribbean. Such beautiful colors in the water, eh.

September 22, 2010 at 9:51 AM  

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