New York City's BEST doctor referral service

Foot pain?

Snoring?

Impotence?

Would you like to know where to get the best treatment for these and a host of other maladies? Just hop on the uptown IRT subway to 42nd street.


I find the snoring ad particularly effective. It can kill you! is so melodramatic.

The subways are a chocked-full of useful information. Get healthier. Forge ahead in your career or start a new one. Find a divorce attorney. Do any of you ex-New Yorkers remember Dr. Zizmor? A local icon. "You can have beautiful, clear skin!"

* * *

Look at this poor bastard.


I took this in the theater the other night. It's the Worst. Comb-over. Ever. He worked that pathetic little thing over and over, getting it in just the right spot.

I don't think women have any idea how much some men suffer for their hair loss. Mine is prematurely graying, but I don't care if it turns purple. As long as it doesn't fall out. If it did, I'd embrace it and go bald.

Of course, I went to law school and took a law degree
And counseled all my clients to plead insanity
Then worked in hair replacement, swindling the bald
Where very few are chosen and fewer still are called

Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de fer
I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair
I put my last few francs down on a prostitute
Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute

Mr. Bad Example
Warren Zevon

Man, I'll never write that well. Not many will.