The Unbearable Banishment: New York City's BEST doctor referral service

Saturday, February 19, 2011

New York City's BEST doctor referral service

Foot pain?

Snoring?

Impotence?

Would you like to know where to get the best treatment for these and a host of other maladies? Just hop on the uptown IRT subway to 42nd street.


I find the snoring ad particularly effective. It can kill you! is so melodramatic.

The subways are a chocked-full of useful information. Get healthier. Forge ahead in your career or start a new one. Find a divorce attorney. Do any of you ex-New Yorkers remember Dr. Zizmor? A local icon. "You can have beautiful, clear skin!"

* * *

Look at this poor bastard.


I took this in the theater the other night. It's the Worst. Comb-over. Ever. He worked that pathetic little thing over and over, getting it in just the right spot.

I don't think women have any idea how much some men suffer for their hair loss. Mine is prematurely graying, but I don't care if it turns purple. As long as it doesn't fall out. If it did, I'd embrace it and go bald.
Of course, I went to law school and took a law degree
And counseled all my clients to plead insanity
Then worked in hair replacement, swindling the bald
Where very few are chosen and fewer still are called

Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de fer
I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair
I put my last few francs down on a prostitute
Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute
Mr. Bad Example
Warren Zevon

Man, I'll never write that well. Not many will.

16 Comments:

Anonymous daisyfae said...

worst hair i ever saw? a "comb forward". guy had his back to me at a sushi restaurant a few weeks ago and i stared at it all through lunch... does he not own a mirror? does he not have a wife? children? friends?

February 19, 2011 at 8:37 PM  
Blogger Sausage Fingers said...

Damn fine post, I do miss Mr. Zevon. Warewolves have great hair in London

February 19, 2011 at 9:30 PM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

I've seen the comb-forward thing too. The husband of one of my patients at work does that. I actually don't mind bald(ing) men at all. Especially if they keep what they have short and neat. Like Captain Picard on Star Trek TNG. Or Sean Connery. *swoons* I don't really like younger men who shave their heads, though. For some reason, for me at least, the guy needs some maturity to pull of the no hair look properly.

February 19, 2011 at 9:36 PM  
Blogger xl said...

"I don't care if it turns purple. As long as it doesn't fall out"

I'm with you on that one!

February 19, 2011 at 10:13 PM  
Blogger Pearl said...

There are no more Warren Zevons.

NY's subway ads far surpass Mpls's bus ads. It's either offers to help you quit smoking or ads for McDonald's in Spanish.

Pearl

February 19, 2011 at 10:39 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Daisy: Some men just can't let go. It's funny/sad.

SF: I believe Warren Zevon to be one of the great under appreciated songwriters of this era. That song I quote, Mr. Bad Example, has more plot and character than many movies I see.

Ponita: I think men with a thinning dome would be less panicked if they new how many women liked bald men.

xl: I'd deal with it if I had to, but am glad I'll go to my grave with a full head of (white) hair.

Pearl: I just love Zevon. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who listens to him anymore. As far as the subway ads, there are NYC Transit Authority messages that have to be printed in several languages. We're a melting pot!

February 19, 2011 at 11:09 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

When the parting starts just above the ear I have to look away.

February 20, 2011 at 4:00 AM  
Anonymous nursemyra said...

I love love love a shaved head

February 20, 2011 at 7:18 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...

I dyed my hair purple. I also dyed it green. I was 'blonde' for about 4 years. Maybe that's why it fell out! :¬)

@Pon; You DON'T like younger men who shave their heids?? :¬)

February 20, 2011 at 9:17 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Pat: There is a point of no return. Just shave your head.

nurse: I knew that about you. I have another friend who's wild about bald domes.

Map: You one of those guys who can pull off the look. Quite handsome, if I do say so.

February 20, 2011 at 9:49 AM  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

Not a good look for a man. Give in to fate and he'll be happier. And snoring only kills you when your wife puts a pillow over your face. This I know.

February 20, 2011 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

I can't believe you told me to shave my head. My hair is quite pretty on a good day.

February 20, 2011 at 6:21 PM  
OpenID kyknoord said...

That's Bieber fifty years from now.

February 21, 2011 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Ellie said...

OH, the comb over.

February 21, 2011 at 4:36 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

M DeF: To me, it just shows the poor man's insecurity. Letting nature take its course is always the way to go.

Pat: Good heavens did I suggest that?! Surely not. What a cad.

kykn: Fifty? Must we wait that long?

Ellie: I wish I had taken a short film of the manipulations.

February 21, 2011 at 5:19 PM  
OpenID queenwilly said...

Bald heads give you extra real estate for kissing.

February 21, 2011 at 5:33 PM  

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