The Unbearable Banishment: Baby had a bad fall

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Baby had a bad fall

We had a big-ass snowstorm over the weekend so I took the girlies sledding. It's just a baby hill. No potential for injury or need for a helmet. Or so I thought. Then I ran across this poor little victim of an obviously horrific crash. Awful! Her face and skull looked like they were dragged under the sled for a few hundred feet. And that dislocated shoulder? My God!


Later that evening I had this niggling feeling that I'd seen that kind of injury once before. And it suddenly dawned on me. That's the same injury that poor Ronnie Cox suffered in the movie Deliverance!


*     *     *

Speaking of movies, here's why the Academy didn't ask for my vote.

Amour. What is that? It’s about an elderly couple, right? I didn’t see it. And I probably won’t

Argo. Really good except for the contrived ending. Do you really think the Iranian militia chased a plane down the runway as it was taking off? I believe in giving a director full dramatic license but give me a break. Do you remember when Ben Affleck used to be a joke? Right after the Gigli fiasco and his marriage to Jennifer Lopez imploded, his name became a punch line. During that period, a play called Matt & Ben was a big hit at the Downtown Fringe Festival. The premise was that there’s NO POSSIBLE WAY Affleck and Damon could have written the Oscar-winning script for Good Will Hunting. The play fronted the theory that the script actually fell from the heavens and landed at their feet, which was depicted. A script was dropped from the theater rafters and landed at the feet of the two actors playing Affleck and Damon (who were women, by the way). Now look at Ben! Directing one great film after another!

Django Unchained. Didn’t see it. He’s a great director but I bailed out on Tarantino a long time ago because of his trademark unrelenting blood and violence. Did you see Reservoir Dogs? That scene where the cop's ear was cut off? That sickened me. It’s a shame I’m such a big baby because I'd really like to see Inglorious Bastards.

Zero Dark Thirty. Didn’t see it. Won’t see it. I heard there’s a fairly graphic torture sequence. That stuff gets under my skin and stays with me for a very long time. During my long nights when I’m starring at the ceiling and being tormented by all the black muck inside my head, I start to imagine the people I love in the torture scenes. It’s just awful. I wish I was normal but I’m badly damaged.

Lincoln. Really Fucking Important. Really Fucking Boring. A dream sequence that included Spider-Man would have helped.

More later. Perhaps.

22 Comments:

Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

I agree with you about Tarentino - the violence in his movies has a casual sadistic quality which he probably thinks is stylish and funny, but is actually deeply unpleasant. Did you read about the toe-sucking encounter he had with an Asian girl?

February 13, 2013 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I tried to click on the toe-sucking link but I'm at work and got the big ACCESS DENIED firewall, so it must be a doozy! I loved Pulp Fiction. I thought the violence was germane to the plot. He doesn't have to do it. He's just a big show-off.

February 13, 2013 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger savannah said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 13, 2013 at 2:04 PM  
Blogger savannah said...

(sorry, that was too much info.)

i should have stopped after, i don't have the patience for movies anymore xoxoxo

February 13, 2013 at 2:10 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Shoot, baby, you never need to censor yourself here! Let it flow! My playground is your playground.

February 13, 2013 at 2:33 PM  
Blogger OldLady Of The Hills said...

I will be getting to most of those films as I continue my so called "Reviews".....

"AMOUR" is a really beautiful moving film. I highly recommend it....if for nothing else than to see these two towering actors together, now in their third act, in this very poignant and deeply touching film.

"DJANGO",,,,,too long, too unbelievably bloody-in-the-extreme....

"LINCOLN"....I'll be posting my thoughts on this on, in a day or two...

February 13, 2013 at 2:42 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I've heard noting but great things about AMORE but it really feels like I'd have to force myself to sit through it, which isn't exactly the healthiest mindset to have right before you hit "play." And I know everybody is crazy about LINCOLN. I was going to be a big smarty-pants and write about the stunning cinematography, etc., but then I thought, "Who am I kidding?" I was bored throughout most of it.

February 13, 2013 at 3:04 PM  
OpenID fearnoweebles said...

Jesus, dude, stop writing all these posts, I'm still behind in reading and commenting on them.

Your review reminds me of an Oscar movie review Bill Murray did way back in the days of Saturday Night Live---did you see that one? Most of his reviews started with "I didn't see it." I respect that sort of honesty. I haven't seen any of them. As a historian, I know I *should* have seen "Lincoln" but I won't because the historical inaccuracies would just piss me off and I'll start throwing stuff at the screen. Meh.

February 13, 2013 at 5:03 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

If you're a historian, you should probably stay the hell away from LINCOLN. Remember, it's a film, not a documentary. For instance, I'm not entirely sure Abe used to sneak into Mary's bureau when she wasn't home and try on her frilly lady things. That was in the movie.

Do I write too much? I can't seem to help myself. It just all comes pouring out. Maybe I'll take a less-is-more approach and see if my numbers click.

February 13, 2013 at 5:21 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Seems like there were NO movies to see for ages; suddenly I've got a movie list longer than my arm. Have knocked off a few, including Zero Dark Thirty and Django. Suppose I'm made of harder stuff than you. *winks* The German actor from Django (also in Inglorious Bastards) is brilliant.

February 13, 2013 at 9:42 PM  
OpenID fearnoweebles said...

See, this is the kind of inaccuracy I'm talking about. Abe didn't sneak around to try Mary's undergarments on, he modeled them right in front of her. I hate when they take liberties with the facts like that.

You don't write too much, it's just that I'm way behind in my blog readings. Absolutely do not stop writing on my account.

February 13, 2013 at 9:50 PM  
OpenID Winopants said...

My mind just went "lalalala" when I saw the section about Argo. I'll come back and read once I've seen the movie :P
I know what you mean about the disturbing scenes. My imagination is way too dark and overactive to handle that stuff. Never had that problem 10 years ago either, oh well.

February 14, 2013 at 12:25 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

How do you sit through the horrible stuff and then stroll out of the theater and forget it all? Just like everyone else, I suppose. German actor = Academy Award winner Christoph Waltz. I am aware of him. Also excellent in Water for Elephants. Played a cruel creep. Currently filming as Mikhail Gorbachev in Reykjavik. Should be interesting.

February 14, 2013 at 7:06 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I don't think I gave anything away. From the first frame, you already know how Argo will end. Still...I should have posted a spoiler alert. I've always had a problem with the dark stuff. Have you seen any of the Saw movies? How can anyone stand them? The worst our society has to offer.

February 14, 2013 at 7:09 AM  
OpenID kyknoord said...

Lincoln would have been better with vampires - oh, wait...

February 14, 2013 at 1:13 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Yeah...that didn't work out, either. When will society learn that Abe Lincoln is just too dull a subject, no matter how much you glitter it up?

February 14, 2013 at 1:53 PM  
Anonymous daisyfae said...

i really want to see movies. i'm too busy sleeping, and faffing about on the internet while drunk, to do much film watching.

absolutely agree about the graphic violence and torture stuff. i will put up with it for a good zombie flick, but still hide my eyes under blankets during the gory stuff. just so unnecessary...

February 14, 2013 at 6:23 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Here's a confession: the only reason I was able to see most of these movies is because a friend of mine who is in the Director's Guild loaned me his screeners. Are you kidding? Who has the time to go out to see all these?!

February 14, 2013 at 7:42 PM  
Blogger Chef Files said...

Deliverance. Now that was a movie! I've never been able to enjoy NASCAR since.

February 17, 2013 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I think people have forgotten how terrifying that movie is. "Squeal like a pig!"

February 17, 2013 at 1:09 PM  
Blogger Pat said...

Yes Deliverance was well regarded in this house.
Good to see Ben getting kudos for directing - if not acting.
That scene in R Dogs was all the more horrific for the mesmerising tune.
I'm avoiding all but happy films just now and rely on you and dear Naomi to keep me up to scrtch.

February 18, 2013 at 5:26 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

The clever (if that's the proper word to use) thing about that scene from Reservoir Dogs is that you never actually see the ear cut off. It all happens off-camera. Just the sounds are horrific. Then the baddie talks into the detached ear. "Stuck in the Middle With You." I'll never forget it. Naomi and I will be your Virgil through the levels of Hollywood hell.

February 18, 2013 at 7:26 AM  

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