The Unbearable Banishment: news flash: New York Yankee fans are sodomized by management

Monday, April 13, 2009

news flash: New York Yankee fans are sodomized by management

The baseball season is just underway and I thought it might be fun to take my family to Yankee Stadium to see my beloved Cleveland Indians (hopefully) pound the hell out the New York Yankees in this, the inaugural 3-game series at the brand spanking new Yankee Stadium. The Indians were instrumental in dismantling the Joe Torre dynasty and I hope they continue to be a thorn in the Yankees side for many years to come.

I hopped onto the Yankees site to shop for tickets. I had heard rumors that ticket prices were raised at the new stadium but was unprepared for what I saw. Just for fun I clicked on “Best Available Seats” as an option. Using that parameter, the four tickets would cost me a grand total of:


That’s not a typo.

Each ticket costs $2,625 and there's a “Convenience Charge” (whatever the hell that is) of $59.70 PER TICKET. That doesn’t factor in parking or food or souvenirs.

They’re called “Legend Seats.” I guess that’s because only a fool of Legendary proportions would spend $10K+ to watch a fucking baseball game. Have they lost their minds?

The Yankees are owned and operated by the Steinbrenners—a family of greedy, bottom-feeding parasites. I can’t wait to watch the games on TV and see all the empty seats behind the Yankees dugout. Bend over and grab your ankles Yankee fans. Play ball!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm stunned... with the meltdown in the financial sector, i've got to believe that NO ONE is that stupid?

i mean, for that kinda cash? you can buy a hooker a day for over 3 months...

can't these guys think long term strategy?

April 13, 2009 at 5:55 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Convinience charge? What, you get to pay for the convinience of getting your own card out of your walley, typing in the numbers yourself, pressing submit and receiving an email and / or tickets in the post? That's not convinience. Convinience is someone doing all that for me.

No doubt the stadium will be packed though...

April 13, 2009 at 7:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just disgusting. I'm gutted the only TV channel to show baseball in the UK has decided to stop broadcasting games this year. The Yankees were probably demanding a cut.

April 13, 2009 at 8:22 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Daisy: Rumor is that they're having a hard time selling the top-tier tickets. Serves them right. By the way, New York hookers are more expensive than Buckeye hookers. I hear.

Jo: The Convenience Charge should include a foot-rub and having sweet nothings whispered in my ear when I pick up the tickets.

LKSN: There's something amoral about it. It's a good thing they don't give that money to poor people. They'd just waste it on stupid things like food and rent.

April 13, 2009 at 9:54 PM  
Blogger AM said...

I wonder if Madoff's Mets tickets were any cheaper?

April 13, 2009 at 11:41 PM  
Blogger AM said...

p.s.- I just found out that one of the Steinbrenners was born in Rocky River. Weird!

April 14, 2009 at 12:02 AM  
Anonymous Rob said...

Recession? What recession?

April 14, 2009 at 12:37 AM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

As a lifelong Braves fan I'm delighted to say - that's what you get for being a Yankees fan.

April 14, 2009 at 1:12 AM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

Ah, apologies for not reading properly - an Indians fan - I have no problem with Indians fans. After all, we beat you for the club's only World Series crown.

That well and truly sucks.

April 14, 2009 at 1:14 AM  
Blogger Barlinnie said...

What planet are these people from?

April 14, 2009 at 2:41 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

A: The Steinbrenner fortune started with Lake Erie shipping. Technically, they are Buckeyes.

Rob: There’s a recession in my house, that’s for sure!

AFM: Yea, the Braves caused me no small amount of PAIN, but I’d still root for them if they were in the World Series vs. the Yankees.

Jimmy: Planet New York City, of course!

April 14, 2009 at 6:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw an article in the Times about that... they pointed out that for the same price, you and about 70 of your closest friends could have orchestra seats for The Lion King (also overpriced, but nowhere near the new stadium).

April 14, 2009 at 8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is an easy solution to get out of this recession...take a portion lets say 10 percent from each professional sports player and ticket sale; need I say more.

April 14, 2009 at 9:45 PM  
Anonymous popomatic Jeff said...

wow! That's disgusting. How much of that stadium was built with tax credits and dollars that could have been used somewhere else - like free parks that everyone can enjoy.

April 16, 2009 at 7:07 AM  

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