The Unbearable Banishment: the unbearable banishment: no friend to the handicapped

Friday, June 26, 2009

the unbearable banishment: no friend to the handicapped

I have never—and would never—park in a handicapped spot. I thank jeebus I don’t need one and curse anyone who would do something like that.

But while at A Company Called Malice, Inc., I always use the handicapped stall in the men‘s room. It’s more spacious and usually cleaner.

While in disposed yesterday, I tapped out a few text messages. I like to multi-task. Took my time doing it, too.

I finished up, opened the door and the new compliance officer—the one in the wheel chair—was giving me the evil fish eye. I didn’t hear him wheel in and have no idea how long he’d been waiting. I heard other people walk in and out so he had to sit through that.

* * *

Poor Ed McMahon. Even in death, he's a second banana.


Blogger sid said...

Wow that myst have been accord.

June 26, 2009 at 8:14 AM  
Anonymous popomatic Jeff said...

Too bad the guy in the wheelchair didn't have a cell phone jammer - that would sped up your texting.

June 26, 2009 at 9:47 AM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

poor ed's more like a third wheel! that pedo mj is stealing farrah fawcett's thunder as well!!!


bet you used up all the tp too so the wheelchair guy had to roll his ass back down to maintenance to get some more.

June 26, 2009 at 12:30 PM  
Blogger Jimmy Bastard said...

You just wheeled yourself into hell my boy...

June 26, 2009 at 12:33 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Sid: You can imagin how I felt.

Jeff: I think that EVERYONE should have a cell phone jammer. They're so cheap! Why not?

Jason: I was particularly sorry that I peed on the seat.

Jimmy: I think I was hell bound long before this happened.

June 26, 2009 at 1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When the child was younger, I always used the handicapped stall in the washroom. Always. You can't manage baby/toddler, often stroller and large bag plus usually shopping bags in those knee-knockers that pass as toilets. I was militant about it. If place didn't have the foresight to have a family washroom, I used that biggest stall. Everywhere. And only a handful of times did I get the evil eye which I met squarely with my own "don't eff with me right now" glare.

Pissing off the wheelchair guy is going to be bad kharma for you at some future date.

June 26, 2009 at 2:35 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Annie: I didn't do it on purpose! I had no idea he was out there. Won't the fates take that into account?

June 26, 2009 at 3:20 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

Bad karma is bad karma, regardless of whether you knew or not.

Ignorance is no excuse.

You are screwed, mister.

June 26, 2009 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

I'm a big fan of handicapped access and respecting their parking spots; but I'm with you ... I feel not shame at using the handicapped stall. I sometimes have to wait ... they can too. That's called equality.

June 28, 2009 at 12:31 PM  
Anonymous Greg T said...

This is one of the funniest blogs and comments I've seen in a while! You could have always pulled a Larry David if you didnt know him....

June 28, 2009 at 6:01 PM  

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