The Unbearable Banishment: Cannot—<i>will not</i>—pass up a bargain

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Cannot—will not—pass up a bargain

But remember one thing don't lose your head
To a woman that'll spend your bread

Rod Stewart

Mrs. Wife has many admirable traits but one of my favorites is her ability to make a dollar scream. Many a man has been put under the bridge trying to placate the insatiable material appetites of his wife. That will never happen to me.

Mrs. Wife's Sensei is her mother. That woman can sense a bargain at a garage sale from two blocks away. And when there's a good sale at the market, she'll pounce, even if it requires buying in bulk.

Mother-in-Law and Father-in-Law live alone. Just them. Two people. Two retirees who live comfortably, don't need much and certainly don't eat much. But if she can get a good price on 18 cans of tuna...

...or eight bricks of sharp cheddar cheese...

...or five boxes of Special K...

...or, most inexplicably of all, 12 cans of tomato puree

...she'll strike and worry later about how two elderly people can possibly eat all that.


Anonymous Mrs. Wife said...

Okay, the cheese is hard to defend but the tuna, cereal and puree will keep forever. It was the Can-Can-Sale. Cheap!!! Hey, half of that food will be fed to us and our kids so don't knock it!

January 10, 2010 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Cat said...

Yankee and I were just discussing this today. He doesn't do much grocery shopping, so he only recently experienced the thrill of the loss lead. He bought a box of raisin bran for $2. I told him this is why sometimes you can't get into our pantry due to the ten boxes of cheap cereal or bottles of grape juice.

January 10, 2010 at 7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Were they born in or around the Great Depression? 'Cuz they sound like my parents.

January 10, 2010 at 9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just returned home after 6+ hours of excavations at my mom's house. cases of canned goods from the 1980's. jars of pickles from god knows when... which she instructed me to "empty those out and save the jars".

we haven't even started on the chest freezer - but there are meat products in there from the 1970's. i used a stethoscope on it to make sure the compressor is still running...

your in-laws are not out of control hoarders. i just left the home of an out of control hoarder. they are merely thrifty!


January 10, 2010 at 10:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mrs. Wife
I think you should make Unbearable eat tuna for the next 18 days for lunch that will be the last time he pokes fun at your can-can sale.

January 10, 2010 at 10:15 PM  
Blogger Sid said...

Ha. Sounds like my folks. I on the other hand will be the type of wife who hides away her R800 pair of shoes from hubbie.

January 11, 2010 at 1:23 AM  
Anonymous nursemyra said...

Maybe you could add water and vodka to that tomato puree and have Bloody Marys for breakfast, lunch and dinner?

And I'm delighted that Mrs Wife is joining in the fun over here!

January 11, 2010 at 3:44 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Bride: Oh, my God! Of course! The can-can sale! That explains their behavior. Except for the cheese.

Cat: Perhaps you need to put an addition on the pantry.

Annie: That's EXACTLY what I was thinking! This sounds like very depression-era behavior but, no, I don't believe they were around then.

Daisy: Naw, I never thought they were hoarders. She just loves a bargain! Who doesn't?

Anon: Make me eat 18 cans of tuna? What is this? Guantanamo Bay?

Sid: You will TRY to hide the R800 shoes from hubby but you will find that's not such an easy thing to do. Unless you marry a dope.

Nurse: Mrs. Wife doesn't comment very often but when she does, it's usually a pretty good (and wel-deserved) zinger.

January 11, 2010 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...

Well done Mrs. Wife!
We went into the city for some bargain hunting in the snow yesterday, the place was almost empty of souls.
Didn't do food shopping but the girls got great bargains on their fashion spree.
I got best bargain of the day;
TWO frying pans for One Euro!!

(As head chef in Chez Map I do the bulk buying too!)


January 11, 2010 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger Here In Franklin said...

Better than my MIL who will save a single brussel sprout wrapped in wax paper ad infinitum.

January 11, 2010 at 8:37 PM  
Anonymous popomatic jeff said...

I love a good bargain but am not very good at getting them. I thought for years that the 10 for $10 sales at my supermarket meant that I had to buy 10 items to get the deal. I still have a cabinet full of bbq sauce from 2 years ago.

January 12, 2010 at 10:29 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Map: Well, there's one thing we DON'T have in common! I cannot boil water and am helpless in the kitchen.

HIF: Yes, there IS a method to MIL's madness. It will all be consumed, if not this year, then next.

Jeff: That's sounds exactly like something I would do. We should form a support group.

January 12, 2010 at 10:59 AM  

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