The Unbearable Banishment: All I wanted to do was take the A train

Thursday, April 22, 2010

All I wanted to do was take the A train

I was walking through the tunnel that runs under 42nd Street trying to get to the A train when I stumbled across this guy.

I'm not a believer so I'm pretty sure that qualifies me as being "wicked," which means that eventually I'll be "turned into hell." There are lots of folks like this in the city. People who want you to know that unless you walk the same path they do, you’ll be damned to hell. 98% of the time I don’t care what they have to say. They don’t mean anything to me. But if I’m having a 2% day, it can get under my skin. Don’t judge me. You fuckhead.

* * *

I’m doing some consulting work at an investment bank. I stepped into the men’s room, closed the stall door and sat down. This was stuck to the door. It’s at eye level when you’re sitting.

Or worse? What do you mean? Like, your careless habits can result in someone’s death? And I like the accusatory, guilt-ridden "you know who you are..." I can't put my thumb on it but this note has a certain charm to it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

There must be something seriously wrong with me as I only see sentence structure and word choice.

'Turned into hell' What does that even mean? I've heard of being turned out of heaven, but never someone being turned into hell.

I'm afraid I might have had to stop and challenge that idea.

As to the missive in the toilet stall, I think ' become ill' would be a better word choice than 'get ill' and I might have been tempted to get out my pen and suggest it.

Not to say my writing couldn't benefit from an editorial hand at times, but these two are irritating for larger reasons as well.

April 22, 2010 at 9:06 AM  
Anonymous Sid said...

the ones at our place at work reminds ppl to flush. i can't believe ppl need a reminder. I mean, shit, you really don't want someone else to walk into a dirty stall.

April 22, 2010 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Haha. The wicked are all doomed eh? Its going to be one HELL of a party...wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhh


April 22, 2010 at 9:34 AM  
Blogger Pueblo girl said...

Did you feel bombarded with unwelcome messages?

April 22, 2010 at 10:24 AM  
Blogger Leah said...

I'm Jewish so I guess I count as an unbeliever...I'll see you in hell!

I know what you mean--if you're in just a particular kind of mood, that stuff really really rankles. Otherwise, you can bat them away like annoying flies.

"a certain charm" made me laugh...

April 22, 2010 at 11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the stains are funny. in fact, i believe someone has taken upon himself to paint that sign. which is exactly what i'd do if i found one... and yes, it would be quite challenging, with my female plumbing, but i'm up to the challenge! probably couldn't write my name, though.

April 22, 2010 at 11:26 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...

See, we don't get quite enough hell n'doom mongerers here! And I'm at that crochety age too, just ripe for a religious argument with a 'holier than thou' sandwich-board gobshite! :¬)

April 22, 2010 at 11:34 AM  
Blogger Jason Quinones said...

sign looks like it was pissed on.

April 22, 2010 at 11:40 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

GOTJ: No, you're absolutely right. How does one "turn into hell?!" It makes no sense. Idiot. I can excuse the toilet stall missive. I think English is a secondary language for the person who wrote it.

Sid: That's AWFUL! What kind of dope would need to be reminded to do that? Have you ever encountered a "prize?"

Jo: Hell is going to be chocked full of my friends and family. I'll be less lonely there than I am here.

PG: Exactly. And this all happened in a 48-hour period. Stop telling me what to do!

Leah: See you in hell, baby. I'll bring a big sack full of Double Down sandwiches. It won't matter! We'll already be dead!

Daisy: Actually, someone tried to rip it off and some of the text is missing. There's another sign in the next stall that's blackened out with a marker.

Map: You make a good point.Who the hell uses sandwich-boards anymore?! How old world. He needs a Twitter account.

Jason: Well, it wasn't me. I'm more passive-aggressive.

April 22, 2010 at 1:53 PM  
Blogger Barlinnie said...

Hell is being stuck in a lift with a religious eejit without a shovel in your hand.

April 22, 2010 at 3:44 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

The guy in the top photo might be one of the many who goes to Speakers Corner and stands on his pious soapbox. I was disappointed with Speakers Corner. I wanted to hear speakers. Instead all you get are religious ranters.

April 22, 2010 at 5:19 PM  
Blogger savannah said...

i've spent some time in the 2% category recently. of course, the MITM took the car keys, miss daisy and left me the hell alone...but, i'm ok now... xoxoxoxo

April 22, 2010 at 8:51 PM  
Blogger Here In Franklin said...

That guy in the subway would probably send me--a liberal church-goer--straight to hell right along with you.

April 22, 2010 at 9:39 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Jimmy: Being stuck in a lift with a politician isn't exactly partytime, either.

Ellie: I've been to Speaker's Corner and you're right. It's a great idea but the people who talk aren't all that impressive.

Savannah: Still? You poor little flower. Hang in there. Go find a politician and give him/her a good swift kick. You'll feel better.

HIF: You're probably right. Those guys don't have a lot of "play" in their game. You either toe the line or it's straight to hell.

April 22, 2010 at 11:25 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

Re: sign guy: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

Re: stall sign: The urine stain down the right side is a nice touch also. I wouldn't put my thumb on that.

April 24, 2010 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

That sign kind of looks like people have been using it for target practice. Target practice, know what I mean?

April 28, 2010 at 2:16 AM  

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