The Unbearable Banishment: Cleaning out the closet

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Cleaning out the closet

Here are a few odds and ends that can't stand on their own as a proper post but are too good to trash.

* * *

If you're out for a lunchtime walkabout on a sunny day (as I was) and you head west on Spring Street, right where Soho blends into Chinatown, you might (as I did) be drawn to the sound of a table saw intermittently being turned on and off in short bursts. "A table saw outdoors in the middle of fashionable Soho?" you'll ask yourself.

Follow the sound, and you'll come across a Chinaman standing on the sidewalk next to some large canvas bags filled with coconuts and a table saw perched precariously on top of a metal garbage can. He'll take a coconut out of the bag, saw the top off, drain the milk into a pail and stack the coconuts in a nice, neat pyramid.

I think I saw this in a dream sequence of a David Lynch film once except the coconuts were being decapitated by a midget. Walk around New York long enough and sooner or later you'll stumble across something of this ilk.

* * *

I finally succumbed to worldwide societal pressure and read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. 250 pages of back story and droll finance and then, out of nowhere, a terrible rape. I don't see what all the fuss is about. I feel like I missed something. I have no plans to read the other two books.

* * *

Here's who I sit closest to at work, on my right and directly behind me, respectively:

I feel like I work in central casting for Bond villains.

* * *
I saw this in my grocer's freezer:

That's disgusting, right? I don't want to see the words "chocolate" and "taco" in such close proximity to one another. True, you can't beat a good mole sauce, but not on tacos for chrissakes!

* * *

Q: What do you call a man who wears a Bluetooth and takes calls while at the gym bench pressing about 175 pounds?

A: Nothing. You bite your tongue and keep your fucking mouth shut.


Anonymous nursemyra said...

Love the last observation UB

October 15, 2010 at 3:51 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

What a delicious pot pourri:)

October 15, 2010 at 5:48 AM  
Blogger savannah said...

nicely done you!

but, Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please. (yippie! a chance to quote my favorite movie)

you might want to check out the swedish movie version of the book. it's rather good. (netflix)

super nana told me she saw a food truck selling kosher tacos out in lala land!

thank you for a perfect friday wrap-up! xoxoxox

October 15, 2010 at 6:45 AM  
Blogger JZ said...

your two bond villains: do you ever wish for the reprisal of fashion for the male wig?

October 15, 2010 at 7:02 AM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I rate this post as excellent.

Chocolate tacos....not so much.

October 15, 2010 at 7:18 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Nurse: I can assure you it was an act of self-preservation.

Pat: This is easier than trying to flesh out one subject. I like the quick hits.

Savannah: Someone told me "midget" it also insulting. That's two in one paragraph! So solly.

JZ: What do you mean reprisal? You haven't been on the subway for a while, have you?

Jo: I complained about these things at work and someone told me they're delicious. That's America in a nutshell.

October 15, 2010 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Kono said...

Thanks for the heads up on the Dragon Tattoo, i like you thought i was missing something, now i know i'm not and have no plans to read it. The Choco-Taco though is another story, it's effing delicious, basically it's the nutty-buddy but instead of a cone it's shaped like a taco, can't find them anywhere in the burgh anymore, but i highly recommend them if you can get past the name.

October 15, 2010 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger CiCi said...

Agree with you regarding the book. I have to disagree about the ice cream.

October 15, 2010 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger sukipoet said...

I read the book and enjoyed the puzzle. I saw the movie of the book and turned it off. I read book two and did not like it and thus will not read book three. I think part of the appeal may be the lead character, the woman, who is so superwoman-like and powerful and gutsy.

October 15, 2010 at 10:29 AM  
Anonymous Vodka and Ground Beef said...

I agree about that Dragon Tattoo book - I didn't get it either.

However, I have to say, Choco-Tacos are pretty good.

October 15, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Kono: Nutty Buddy. Now THERE'S a name I haven't heard for many, many years.

TB: Did you read the other two? If so, can you forward a brief summary? I'm too lazy to do the heavy lifting myself.

Suki: I keep thinking that if I see the movie, I might like the book a little better. But I haven't gotten around to it yet.

V+GB: Well, that's batting .500 and you can't do much better than that. And welcome.

October 15, 2010 at 12:28 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Very sage answer to the question. I was going to say 'twat' ... but of course you are right.

October 15, 2010 at 3:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

choco-taco is toxic yum... oh, yeah. if i weren't already camped out for the night in my jammies? i'd be on my way to the grocery...

October 15, 2010 at 7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For some reason your work neighbors bring me back to the coconut story...

And I'm with your buddies - Choco-Tacos are excellent!

October 18, 2010 at 9:22 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home