The Unbearable Banishment: 5. Wu. Five. V. 5th. *****. Go. 5ive.

Friday, March 22, 2013

5. Wu. Five. V. 5th. *****. Go. 5ive.

This weekend marks the fifth anniversary of my idiot blog. If I'm being painfully candid (and what else can I be with a group of complete strangers?) I have to admit that I don't have the healthiest relationship with my blog. Nuttycow, one of my original readers who has hung in with me all these years (I hope you don't mind my quoting, dear) recently said in her comment section:
I tend not to worry about people’s thoughts on my blog. I write for me, when I need to, about things that I need to get off my chest. If people enjoy reading it, all the better. Don’t worry about what other people think—write what you want!
Are you kidding me?! I wish I was HALF as evolved as she is. The fact is, I burn too many brain synapsis obsessing over stats, page hits, comments and the like. I perform comparative analyses until I'm nauseous. Daisyfae, another original from Day One, has taken me to task offline on more than one occasion for this pointless and unhealthy exercise. But since my pathology is here to stay, I've decided to consider it part of my boyish charm.

My blog hasn't always been such a great friend to me. It's gotten me into trouble a few times. Anytime I'm in crisis mode, I shut down with the intention of never posting again. But three or four weeks will pass by and I'll start formulating paragraphs in my head while on the subway. I'll take a photo and ask myself, "What are you going to do with that? You're not going to post it to your blog, are you?" And then I do.

Despite all that angst, do you know what? I love doing this. It's important to me. Once in a great while I'll cough-up a paragraph that's so well-constructed and so beautifully articulates my point, that I'll stare at my fingertips in amazement. How does it happen? I have no formal eduction beyond a diploma from a below-average high school. It's a magic trick. And if you'll pardon my saying so, I think some of my photos have genuine artistic merit. I live for those fleeting sparks. And if someone takes the time to post a comment? Or actually writes to me offline? That's as good as my day will get. Where does this yearning for attention come from? Is it simply a part of the human condition or is it more complex than that? It's a conundrum.

This blog has afforded me a few meet-ups. They're great. If you get the chance, do it. Having New York City at my disposal helps. I love showing off this big, dirty, stupid, old town. It still feels like home to me, even after a decade of being unbearably banished.

So thank you for your attention. It means more to me than you can imagine. [He takes a bow and doffs his derby.]

Your 'umble author + sprog


Blogger savannah said...

i KNEW there was a reason i woke up early today! ;) cheers, brother! i am honored to read your words. the MITM and i can't wait to one day meet you in NYC! keep writing, sugar and i'll keep reading! xoxoxoxo

March 22, 2013 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

I never knew you were obsessing over blog stats and comments. You must have a secret communication channel to your female readers - my compliments to you. Most blogs run out of steam long before their 5th anniversary, so you're definitely a serious player. There are many people with college degrees who don't write as well as you - too many, in fact.

March 22, 2013 at 7:27 AM  
Blogger dinahmow said...

Happy blogday! Of course, you are a little younger than I. Blogwise, blogwise! But I've laughed a lot and even shed a tear on this page.
Sometimes, your posts are a series of wonderful pictures, sometimes, gritty theatre reviews. And sometimes...the right words just flow across the page.
Don't abandon us.

March 22, 2013 at 8:03 AM  
Blogger Furtheron said...

It is unhealthy and pointless! I hardly bother. One thing the stats lead to was of stopping writing reviews thousands come to read but I'm no critic so no more reviews not fair on the producers.

March 22, 2013 at 8:26 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I'll bet you two are a big roomful of laughs. I hope for the pleasure of your company one evening. My in-laws just passed through Savannah on the way to FLA and they were mightily impressed.

March 22, 2013 at 8:27 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Obsessing over stats is my ninja skill. I'm not bragging about it. I hate it. I wish I had a healthy detachment, like everyone else. But, as Popeye said, I yam what I yam. I'll ship a bunch of bananas and some gorilla porn in return for your kind words.

March 22, 2013 at 8:43 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I try to create a proper mix of photos and blathering. I actually think I post TOO DAMN MUCH but I can't seem to help myself. The stuff just pours out of me. And I wasn't kidding about the meet-ups. They're great! You meet some interesting foreigners.

March 22, 2013 at 8:45 AM  
Blogger Ms Scarlet said...

Happy 5th Bloggy Birthday!!
As for stats, when I look at mine I just get paranoid, so I try to stop myself.

March 22, 2013 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I know it's a trap but I can't seem to help myself. I want an audience, as I believe all people do, whether they say it out loud or not. Is that so bad?

I've read a few of your reviews and quite liked them. I think it bad form to censor yourself. Your opinion is just as valid as any other. Of course you're a critic! We're all critics!

March 22, 2013 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

It's nice to see you. Thanks for your congrats. I'll blow out the five candles on my blog cake and when I do, I'll close my eyes and wish for a healthier relationship with my stats.

March 22, 2013 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger SJF said...

Five years, wahoo! Keep 'em coming. I've had a blog since 2007 and have started to slow down after so many years. But, I think as long as you have something to say, then a blog is a great outlet.

March 22, 2013 at 11:03 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

How can I possibly run out of things to say while having NYC to draw on for material? Plus, there's my gassy nature to consider.

March 22, 2013 at 11:13 AM  
Anonymous nuttycow said...

Happy anniversary my friend! 5 years, blimey. So much has changed over that time eh? I stand by my original comment (with a caveat - when I post something new, I immediately go onto Google Analytics to see who's reading the post!)

In some ways, I'm glad I'm not one of those uber popular bloggers - the pressure would be far too much.

Until you make your millions, keep on writing, keep on telling us stories, keep on showing me the fantastic city you live in. I promise, one day, I'll be there in person and force you to be my tour guide!

March 22, 2013 at 11:15 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

And look where YOU were five years ago! Much changed, indeed. Running off to Google Analytics are you? So, you're not as pure as it would seem.

I think I'd like to be an uber popular blogger. My ego could use it. I wouldn't mind the pressure so much.

There's a tony cocktail and a lovely view waiting for your arrival.

March 22, 2013 at 11:58 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...

Sláinte! :¬)

March 22, 2013 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger Verdant Earl said...

Happy blog anniversary!

My own slice of blog babble will turn 8 this summer. 9 if you count the time that I guest-posted on another site set up by a friend who introduced me to blogging. How the time flies.

I haven't cared about site stats for many years now. Mostly because mine were so non-existent. Hehe.

I do go back, from time to time, and pick a month and read through some of my old blog posts. Man...I gave much more of a shit about it all back then. Would love to get back to that place. Maybe someday I will. Until then...keep on keeping on.

March 22, 2013 at 12:16 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Thanks! You're another oldie but goodie reader. I don't remember when you got here but it's been a long while.

March 22, 2013 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Hey! I owe you a thank-you! I saw that video of Joey Ramone's New York City over at your place and I watch it a LOT. The camera pans through what used to be my old neighborhood. I know those sidewalks. I also added the song to my running playlist. I didn't know anything about it, so THANKS a lot!

Eight years. Geeze. That's pretty good. Here's to eight more.

March 22, 2013 at 12:44 PM  
Anonymous isabelle said...

Well done for five years ! I like the way you write, I wouldn't worry about a lack of formal higher education, your words stand for far more than some degree on a slip of paper. I think you paint a great picture of New York and have an interesting take on the art scene.

March 22, 2013 at 3:33 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Your comment is catnip. Many thanks. The lack of formal education is something that's haunted me for a long, long time. I know it's silly but it's become part of my DNA now.

March 22, 2013 at 5:56 PM  
Blogger OldLady Of The Hills said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I love your blog and wish I had found it five years ago....I LOVE your writing and your take on all things NYC., and you make me nostalgic for my young days in the 'greatest city in the world'----Well, maybe that's an over-statement---But it is one special place and you, my dear, are one special guy.
I will be going into my eighth year of blogging in early fall.....And, I have never understood the whole STATS thing or how to figure them out....Just as well, I think....I hope you continue blogging for at least another 5 years, if not more.....
And I agree---meeting fellow bloggers is a wonderful experience.....!

March 22, 2013 at 7:48 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

The stat / comment compulsion isn't necessarily with you for life. I gradually broke free from that obsession probably after five years of blogging (have been blogging since 2004) ... I still check stats but more likely on a weekly or biweekly basis..

March 22, 2013 at 11:58 PM  
Blogger dinahmow said...

I never look at my stats!Well, I read the "anal report" at the end of the year, but I don't try to drive traffic to MIT.Too cowardly, perhaps?

March 23, 2013 at 3:33 AM  
Blogger Val said...

Happy 5th!!! Love your blog, your writing and wonderful photos. New York is on my bucket wish list, so I devour all you give us. If it happens one day that I get to NY, will be sure to let you know. If you ever get to Cape Town will be glad to show you around too! :) Keep on writing - you have a special talent.

March 23, 2013 at 3:34 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Thank you, dear. Through the miracle of archiving, you can relive the entire five years. Just keep hitting the "Older Posts" link. You could be busy for days.

It's best not to look into the STATS feature. Leave it alone. It's quicksand.

March 23, 2013 at 9:16 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I hope you're right about its fading importance. I'd really like to be rid of it once and for all. How liberating that must be.

2004? Are you the first blogger? Your place has a really interesting ongoing storyline.

March 23, 2013 at 9:18 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Val, I'd love to visit Cape Town. I'd get in a car to Kennedy International Airport this morning if I could. Last night, I was out on the town with a friend who just came back from a trip to London and Munich. His stories filled me with wanderlust. I miss traveling but my circumstances don't allow for it anymore. It's a big gaping hole for me.

Thanks for your kind words. Definitely ping me if you're in town. That goes for all of you.

March 23, 2013 at 9:21 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

NOT cowardly. Sensible. Mature. I'll get there one day. Maybe. Maybe not.

March 23, 2013 at 9:59 AM  
Anonymous Karl said...

Hello, Mister. I'm very very new here, but I intend to stay. Here's to another 50 years.

March 23, 2013 at 11:52 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

How do you do, Mr. Karl! You have an exceptionally thorough About Me page. In 50 years, I will be dust. I'll settle for another five quality years vs. 50 with declining returns.

March 23, 2013 at 2:50 PM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Five years!! An accomplishment in any format. Congratulations for hanging in there and entertaining (and educating) us for so long. I love you art gallery posts, and the photos you take around town.

I think I am close to the 5 year mark too, but I deleted the beginnings of mine (in an emotional turmoil) and then changed blog names a long time ago, so I'm not sure.

Stats? Whenever I even think to look (which is almost never), I wish shrug a "whatever" because it really doesn't mean anything. But if you feel compelled to obsess, you go right ahead... it is your blog, after all. :-)

March 23, 2013 at 7:55 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

No way. There were lots of us in those heady early days! Diamond Geezer is till going. So many that I miss, though not my prior persona. It's nice to be the today me - I suppose the storyline is just life unfolding. Glad that it is interesting. x

March 24, 2013 at 6:17 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I didn't notice the five years pass by. I guess that's good, right? And now I have this online archive for my daughters to pour over when they're adults. Good think I run everything I write through a filter. Tell you regret deleting the earlier posts? Do you now wish you had them?

March 24, 2013 at 1:30 PM  
Blogger G. B. Miller said...

Congrabulations on making it five years with a blog. I'm coming up on 5 years/1,000 posts with mine and from day one, I've written my blog following that basic tenet of writing for myself and it others happen to stop by and enjoyed what I had written, so much the better.

March 25, 2013 at 6:35 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Thanks for your congrats! Does that come with a cash prize? No? Ah, that's okay. I appreciate it nonetheless. I realize how unattractive my desperate need for attention and feedback is. I'm working on it. I'll bet a proper psychologist would have a thing or two to say about that.

And congrats to you on your impending anniversary, as well. 1K posts is nothing to sneeze at. Well done.

March 25, 2013 at 7:05 AM  
Blogger Kono said...

Stats? if i worried about those i'd have quit long ago, no one reads the lounge except maybe two or three people, you being one of them, did i peruse the web and see places where i think the writing isn't as interesting or shambolic as mine and wonder why they get a shit ton of comments? years ago maybe but not anymore, you can see the blog game that goes on with followers and comments and what not and like most things i choose not to involve myself in it, which means if i'm commenting on yours you must be a special kind of weirdo, i've always said i do it for myself and lately i've been doing other things, some healthy and some not so much, needless to say happy anniversary... now i gotta go shovel some snow.

March 25, 2013 at 8:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow I can't beleive it's been 5 years.....I can't imagine not having your blog to read when I need a break from life. It's nice to read how things are through the eyes of my OLDER brother.
I also have laughed; cried; questioned and appreciated your blogs. I have passed it on to friends and family (the other side of the family). Keep up the good work-it's our conection with you other than our weekly Sunday chats and visits twice a year.

March 25, 2013 at 9:54 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I know. I'm embarrassed to admit my obsession but I decided to put it out there and hope I'm not judged too harshly. You should see the frailties I choose to keep private! I'm sure they'd entertain but you'll not see them posted here anytime soon.

Friggin' snow. What hit you should be here just in time for the afternoon rush. I feel like we're being punished but I can't connect the crime. As they sing in The Book of Mormon: Fuck you, God!

March 25, 2013 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

YOU can't believe it?! I started this when Daughter #2 was only one! And what's with the name-calling? Is that necessary? You're no spring chicken, I'll remind you. It's a good thing you didn't reveal my age or I'd have deleted your comments. So I'm vain!

As always, no charge for reading. Completely free to the public.

March 25, 2013 at 10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Five years? Now that's commitment. Have you considered having yourself committed? Either way, as a reward, your fans are giving you one million non-redeemable internet dollars. No, make that one BILLION non-redeemable internet dollars.

March 25, 2013 at 12:07 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

At long last! I finally made money off my blog! This is fantastic. And I thought it was going to be just another dull Monday. As far as my commitment, I have, on a couple of occasions, tried to stop. It was only a matter of time until the urge to post gnawed away my resolve. So weak.

March 25, 2013 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger MommyHeadache said...

Well at least you're honest about your blogging obsession. My blog ran out of steam a while ago but now I'm penning bits of non fiction. My problem is partly I don't want most of my acquaintances reading it - back when I wrote autobiographical stuff. Also my kids don't want their pics up on it. Also my husband says it is mental masturbation. So I am rather left with the 'creative non fiction' route!! Keep on trucking

March 25, 2013 at 4:03 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

They say the first step is admitting you have a problem although I don't see how that's going to lessen my seemingly insatiable need.

My wife is not ian these pages by request. I discuss us very fleetingly and have never posted her pic. You've got to respect your families wishes. Is the autobiographical stuff still out there in your archives or did you purge it?

March 25, 2013 at 9:03 PM  
Blogger MommyHeadache said...

There are bits and bobs out there back from 2007 but the raunchier stuff is back in 'draft' mode!! I don't really need to let it all hang out these days anyway ...twas a phase I think! Early mid life crisis.

March 26, 2013 at 1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are doing good work here, and yes your pictures do have artistic merit! I wish I wasn't such a plane-phobic, I'd love to check out NYC

March 29, 2013 at 3:02 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I am, as usual, late to the party. I'll take what I can get, I guess.

March 29, 2013 at 8:41 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Plane-phobic?! How did you get to Hawaii? Walk? I tell everyone...NYC might not be your cuppa, but everyone should see it once. It's like a traffic accident. Horrible, yet, entertaining.

March 29, 2013 at 8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I completely agree, I'll buck up eventually and get out there.
My flying experience to Hawaii, which I thought would be tame because of the short distance, was a 5 hour long panic attack; Deserving of it's own post perhaps.

March 29, 2013 at 5:28 PM  
Blogger Neta Hagiladi said...

Happy anniversary!
how great was it, to discover this blog today! I got here through the link you posted in urban sketchers, and then started reading all your comments and replies to the horses dance thread and started laughing, your formulations are so articulate and witty. since hebrew is my mother tongue, I'm afraid I might have some mistakes now. Btw, obsessing over stats makes you human and cute.

April 4, 2013 at 8:19 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Hello, Neta. I've always thought my blog needed more Israelis, so thanks for showing up. If you found my stuff articulate and witty, then I'd say you have an excellent command of English. Thanks for your anniversary wishes. Five years. *snap Nothing to it.

April 5, 2013 at 6:39 AM  

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