The Unbearable Banishment: An unprovoked attack

Sunday, March 17, 2013

An unprovoked attack

I was taking pictures of our neighbor's beautiful white cat, Smudge, when, for absolutely NO REASON WHATSOEVER, Skippy walked into the frame and BIT HER IN THE EYE. It was an hilarious unprovoked attack. I could not stop laughing. Cats are the best.

*     *     *

On Friday nights, 11-Year Old Daughter and I watch that old 1960's chestnut I Dream of Jeannie. It's great! In Friday night's episode, Tony went on a date. Jeannie got jealous and turned his date into a chimp. Oh, my God, we laughed! On Saturday nights we watch Batman. Last night, they did that bit where they're climbing up the side of a building and a celebrity pops out of a window. This time, it was Jerry Lewis. I had to explain who he was. Man, I'm going to miss these evenings. I've got maybe another two years, max, and she's not going to want to sit around with her old man on a Friday or Saturday night watching reruns of sitcoms from 45 years ago. 

*     *     *

6-Year Old Daughter is utterly and irreversibly addicted to books.

She's as bad as her sister. Those two get so lost in reading that you can't talk to them while their faces are buried in a book. They, literally, don't hear your voice. I've done so many stupid things but this is one thing I'm kind of proud of. Reading is the the key to a lot of different locks. I often wonder how far I'd have gotten if I had been introduced to reading at six instead of 20. Better late than never, I suppose.

Recently she asked, "Dad, how come all the guys who play basketball on TV have brown skin?" I was stunned. I didn't have an answer. I guess she's right, but I wasn't going to step on that third rail.

*     *     *

I recently posted some photos of Central Park after a snowstorm. I always limit the number of pics I post because I don't want to turn my posts into a giant file dump. I wanted to post one more because I love the composition of this one so much. It's hard to believe it's the center of NYC!

In the interest of fairness and full disclosure I give you the following. I call it "Deck of Playing Cards in a Pile of Vomit Under an Ad for the Time Square New Years Eve Ball on 8th Avenue."

I'm just trying to keep it real. Look...this is still New York City. Sometimes I think I wax a little too pastoral about this place.


Anonymous daisyfae said...

You're right - at some point your daughter will no longer want to watch old TV reruns with you. But that will be temporary. When they come home from university, or visit with their own families at Christmas, they are ABSOLUTELY going to want to do this again. Pinning points. You are making them.

March 17, 2013 at 10:52 AM  
Blogger savannah said...

i'll be back after i finish throwing up because of the last pic. xoxo

March 17, 2013 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

That's the other unprovoked attack in this post. You guys didn't deserve that. But that's New York. Warts and all.

March 17, 2013 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I didn't know it had an official name. Pinning points. I like it. Very appropriate. Is that how it is for you? Sounds like you're speaking from experience.

March 17, 2013 at 12:43 PM  
Blogger OldLady Of The Hills said...

I'm so worried about the white Cats eye!!! It looks ghastly!

I just wrote a post in which "BATMAN" is featured! How incredible is that! I love that your daughters are such avid readers....that is fantastic!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that picture of Central Park with the snow.....!
On the other hand, I could live without the Vomit! (LOL)

March 17, 2013 at 12:49 PM  
Blogger Furtheron said...

Book addiction is better than many others trust me!

March 17, 2013 at 1:25 PM  
Blogger MommyHeadache said...

My two tween daughters are obsessed with the 60s show Bewitched where the lady witch always sorts out her hubby's problems and lets him take credit for it. Hope it doesn't turn them into Stepford Wives. Could be worse I suppose!

March 17, 2013 at 3:31 PM  
Anonymous dinahmow said...

Yes, Daisyfae is right on those pinning points.We come back to them, to be grounded, many years later when we have a need.

Wanders off singing "I like New York in about you?...."

March 17, 2013 at 3:33 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

The others are right. I go back home every couple of weeks to check in, chill out, and watch TV with my parents. I didn't want to do it for years as a teenager, but then I came back.

March 17, 2013 at 3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the mixed-media installation piece. There isn't nearly enough vomit art out there.

March 17, 2013 at 4:42 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

My neighbor said those two cats go at it all the time. It's always a big laugh until somebody gets hurt.

I saw your post on Malachi Throne. I'm sorry you lost a dear friend. I left an interesting comment about his False Face character on Batman.

March 17, 2013 at 6:31 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Like the old saying, "little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems," little kids...little addictions, etc. I worry about the adult kind.

March 17, 2013 at 6:32 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Bewitched is broadcast up here, too, but I'm not a big fan. We're a Jeannie household. That stuff is so innocent. What the hell happened?

March 17, 2013 at 6:34 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

It's like putting a deposit in the bank, to be collected in two decades' time.

Do you mean to sing, "I like Brooklyn in June...?"

March 17, 2013 at 6:35 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I'm glad I'm implanting these little nothings in their heads. It'll turn into a big something when they're older. They don't realize it yet. Did any of us at the time?

March 17, 2013 at 6:36 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I know it's VERY gross and everyone wishes I hadn't done that, but I am utterly fascinated by that photo. Someone walking up 8th Avenue saw that mess and decided to drop a deck of cards in the middle of it. That's genius!

March 17, 2013 at 6:37 PM  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

I too was a fan of I Dream of Jeannie. Tony Nelson was such a goody-two-shoes for not taking advantage of Jeannie, and yet you had to admire him for being the perfect gentleman. I hope your daughters marry a Captain Nelson rather than a Batman.

March 17, 2013 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger Ellie said...

I love the expression you use: not to step on the 3rd rail!

Did you win the limerick prize!???

March 17, 2013 at 9:55 PM  
Anonymous dinahmow said...

Sing me some Gershwin, honey, and I'll follow you anywhere!
Yes, Brooklyn. No ice!

March 18, 2013 at 6:14 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Here's what I didn't realize when I was a young child: Batman is, in fact, NOT a drama of epic proportions. It's a campy comedy. I didn't see it. Also, Jeannie, that is to say, Barbara Eden, is ummm...really, really pretty in that costume. I've repeatedly asked Mrs. Wife to call me Master but to date, she has not warmed to the idea.

March 18, 2013 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

For the uninitiated, the third rail is a reference to the New York subway system. There are two rails that the train wheels run on and a third rail that supplies the power. If you come into contact with it, you're toast. It's true! There's an urban legend that homeless people have died urinating on the third rail. The power arc traveled up their stream and electrocuted them. I think it's baloney.

As of this typing, the prize has not been awarded. Fingers crossed!

March 18, 2013 at 7:00 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

I seem to remember posing the same question as your daughter not too long ago.
I feel mean but one of my birthday presents was a scarf which frankly looks just like sick and I couldn't wear it. Sometimes a white lie is the only way.

March 18, 2013 at 8:35 AM  
Blogger Nota Bene said...

I bet Skippy blames Smudge...such is the nature of things.

Central Park looks perfect.

March 18, 2013 at 9:37 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

The circumstances of that photo fascinates me. Who carries a deck of playing cards around with them?! And then decided to drop them there, when there's a garbage bin right there?! Oh, humanity.

March 18, 2013 at 10:53 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

My understanding is that Smudge gets the stuffing kicked out of her on a fairly regular basis. It's kind of sad, really.

Under the right light and circumstances, Central Park IS perfect! But bring lots of $$$.

March 18, 2013 at 10:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahahah, the juxtaposition of those last two photos!!
The shot of the cat is great as well. You can see its surprise, paws outstretched and all.

March 18, 2013 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

The two photos = one-stop shopping for everything that's beautiful and awful about this place. Who thinks of dropping a deck of cards there? It's brilliant.

If you bit my eye, I'd stretch my claws out, too. I might even sink them into your thigh.

March 18, 2013 at 2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not sure if I'd like to pick a card, any card.

My daughters like reading too--they're even more avid than me. They have no idea how much of a pleasure and satisfaction I get from those still Saturday mornings when we're all sat round reading in the same room.

March 19, 2013 at 6:20 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Just last night I was sitting in the living room with 11-Year Old. She, reading her book, me reading mine. It was quiet. The dog was gnawing on her bone at our feet. What more can you expect out of life?

Re: the pic. I've seen art installations that weren't as cohesive. He threw a deck of cards in it! Still amazes me.

March 19, 2013 at 6:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't know about "official". that's just what i call it... and yes, it is from experience. although the kids and i spend our time together drinking, talking, playing pool and watching movies, they will still look forward to christmas stockings with scratch off lottery tickets, and doing all of the other odd stuff they did as little critters....

March 19, 2013 at 5:22 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

No way! Santa puts scratch off lotto tix in our stockings too! Meebee that's an Ohio thing?

March 19, 2013 at 5:55 PM  
Anonymous daisyfae said...

nah. just redneck. :-)

March 21, 2013 at 11:14 PM  

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