The Unbearable Banishment: Hey, Muslims! Is this true?

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Hey, Muslims! Is this true?

Here's a doozy of a quote from a review of ‘Sex and the Citadel,’ a careful study on sexual relations in Muslim societies, with particular emphasis on Egypt, Tunisia, Lebanon, Morocco and the United Arab Emirates, by Shereen El Feki:
The rules governing marriage in Islamic countries seem to give great advantages to men. A man can strike up a temporary marriage with a women with whom he wants to have sex, then say, 'I divorce you!' three times and have it be all over.
It also said that Muslim men in the Middle East are obsessed with sodomy because their culture places a premium on virgin brides.

Do you suppose any of that is true? Can it be verified? If it's so, what a demented society. I can't believe some of those guys are our allies. It's lucky for them we need their oil or we'd wag our index finger and give them the same human rights lecture we give to China and Russia. And don't tell me not to judge their culture. I'll judge whomever I choose and call bullshit when I see fit.

*     *     *

I'm sure all you folks in nice, warm climates enjoy a healthy belly laugh when we here in the colder climates are getting slammed with a blizzard. That's okay. We can take it. But while it's true you don't suffer biting winds or numb extremities, you are also deprived of spring. You'll never know what that first warm kiss of the sun feels like after suffering a long, frigid season. We've spent the past six months curled up in a tight little ball trying to keep warm. It finally broke this week. Do you know what that feels like?

It's back to dining al freaso on 9th Avenue in the theater district. I walked past this last night and it was like seeing an old friend. Doesn't that look inviting? Take a seat and enjoy dinner + a show.

Suddenly, alternative modes of transportation appear in Central Park.

Springtime brings the swallows back to San Juan, Capistrano. Here in Manhattan, we have the reappearance of these:

Accept no imitation or substitute. I impulse-purchased my first cone yesterday on my way back from a lunchtime read in Central Park. The official end of winter.

But mostlyand this is what sunny Southern California doesn't getsurviving the winter and walking out into that first balmy breeze feels like this:

*     *     *

Coco's righteous indignation that a car has the audacity to drive past her window pooch perch.


Anonymous daisyfae said...

no clue on the intracacies of Muslim culture. sorry. can ask my kid when i see her this summer...

the warmth - sweet wounded jesus, the WARMTH! it is here, and then it is gone, and then it comes back! it teases us.

have been able to put the first few bicycle rides of the season under my belt, though, and it feels great. now, to get my jeep running so i can drive topless again...

April 9, 2013 at 7:25 AM  
Blogger Verdant Earl said...

Reminds me of that Steve Martin bit.

"In our culture, we say I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee...and then we throw dog poop on their shoes."

April 9, 2013 at 8:50 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I forgot she's spent time there. What a thrill ride that must be.

How happy is Mr. Pickles that it's finally nice out? I had forgotten what warmth felt like. You know you're asking for it with the topless comment, don't you? Don't pitch it over the plate like that and think people aren't going to swing for the fence.

April 9, 2013 at 9:00 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I'm sure we have our cultural peculiarities—after all, we invented reality TV—but Muslim women seem to really get the short end of the marriage deal. Deeply religious men are idiots. It's a fact!

April 9, 2013 at 9:03 AM  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

I think only Shias are allowed temporary marriages but I could be wrong. I don't understand the sodomy-virgin point. Is it because sodomy is like deflowering a virgin, or do they sodomise virgins to avoid deflowering them? I'm glad Spring has reached you, but I'll take Southern California any day.

April 9, 2013 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

It's the latter. If you sodomize a virgin, she is still, technically, a virgin. So silly.

I lived in a year-round warm weather climate for 18 months. Ya know what? It was really boring! I missed the autumn leaves. The rush of spring. Even the snowfall. I think it all depends on what you grew up with.

April 9, 2013 at 10:59 AM  
Blogger Nota Bene said...

Meanwhile we still have snow on the ground when we should be at 20 degrees Celsius...I've forgotten what that is proper units..

April 9, 2013 at 11:35 AM  
Blogger OldLady Of The Hills said...

Lovely pictures of Spring appearing in NYC! I hope it is there to stay...! As to Southern California---it works for me and I grew up with Winter and Freezing and Snow.....I like the weather here so much better....!
I don't understand anything about the customs of the Muslim culture where women are concerned....

April 9, 2013 at 12:20 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Be strong! Hold fast! Here comes the sun! It's all right!

April 9, 2013 at 2:02 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I certainly understand the attraction to warm climates. Paradise is never depicted as a blizzard or driving rainstorm. But I tried it and it's not for me.

I try not to sit in my ivory tower, look down and spout off about other cultures. But, damn it, this seems bizarre and cruel. I wonder why Muslim men are so terrified of women? Does anyone know?

April 9, 2013 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

And don't tell me not to judge their culture. I'll judge whomever I choose and call bullshit when I see fit" - I have to say, I like your style. Sounds a bit mental to me.

As an English person, I can fully appreciate that first touch of Spring. Well, I say appreciate loosely as I have yet to wallow in it's breath of soft, warming breeze. It's still bloody freezing. I think I'd miss seasons if I lived somewhere hot all the time.
Great pics. I love New York.

I hope you don't get too many cars passing by your window or it's going to get mighty noisy in your house!

April 9, 2013 at 2:18 PM  
Blogger savannah said...

so, as the "token" i'm with you, sweetpea! there's a lot of bullshit in so called "islamic" countries that have absolutely nothing to do with islam. we're talking centuries of tribalism and cultural bullshit. the quran has as much insanity in it as the bible does and you can count on a fundamentalist to find just the line, verse and chapter to sustain anything they want. when it comes to mythologies, to my mind, ya plays yer cards and ya takes yer chances.

now as to why are they so afraid of women? why are any fundamentalist/evangelical religions afraid of women?


p.s. it's in the lower 80's here today!

April 9, 2013 at 2:23 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

It's been a long, cold, lonely winter. [Second time I quoted that song in the comments section.] It took forever but it made that first warm day all the much sweeter. A change of the seasons is the way to go. I lived in Arizona for a bit and never swapped out my wardrobe from light clothing to winter. So boring.

You think I'm mental? The DOG is mental x 100. She's already moved on to a new obsession: licking my slippers, but only when I'm wearing them. Gross.

April 9, 2013 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Someone (a woman) wrote to me offline and said all the things I mention in this post are true in hyper-Muslim countries. I was hoping it was all just a bunch of exaggerations to sell books. What is it about the female form that makes the spiritual folks go crazy? The Catholics are sexually oppressed and bizarrely obsessed with virginity. Me no get.

I don't mind the lower 80s. In July.

April 9, 2013 at 2:36 PM  
Blogger mapstew said...

Well fuck me! (You DO know that's just an expression?!) :¬)

April 9, 2013 at 8:21 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

In some jurisdictions it's a request. In others, a command.

April 9, 2013 at 9:04 PM  
Blogger Jules said...

Yes, gross. I think your dog has a foot fetish.

April 10, 2013 at 3:41 AM  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

I'd read that about muslim men also... and think it's totally absurd.

As for the four seasons and spring being here... well, you may have it but we don't! I still have 2 feet of snow in my yard. It is about +2C/36F here right now, the sun is shining and there's a steady drip from the snow cap on my roof, but its got a long way to go before we can be without jackets! This time last year, it was in the 20sC/70sF and everyone was wearing shorts and sandals. That was an anomaly. This year, Monday morning saw temps in the -20sC (I think -18C = 0F) but with the wind, it felt like -30C!!!! WTF was that!! It's an anomaly as well, but not the kind any of us like.

So have you got the Coco nipping situation all sorted? Is she maturing into an okay dog? I hope so.

April 10, 2013 at 7:05 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Isn't it astonishing that women are still treated like that in this day and age? It's unimaginable. And it's all done in the name of religion.

Hang in there! The sun is on the way. It's GOT to be.

Coco has come a long way. (Lucky for her.) She no longer bites and is fairly well behaved. Her big issue is that she guards my six-year old. If my daughter is sitting on the sofa Coco sits next to her and if I try to hug my daughter, Coco lets out with a growl. It's kind of funny, but not really.

April 10, 2013 at 8:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My end of my street is largely populated by Muslims and the women are definitely under the thumb. They won't talk to me (which I respond to by being doggedly friendly), and cultural relativism can go take a running jump--niqabs are just plain wrong.

My friend Erica has just got back from Tunisia and has sworn never to go back because of the aggressive sexual attention she got wherever she went.

I know it doesn't sound very nice, but I wouldn't trust a Muslim as far as I could throw them. The ones round here, at least, are very seperatist and live as isolatedly as they can manage.

April 11, 2013 at 8:14 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Your dogged friendliness is probably the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. What great sport that must be!

My feelings are much broader and, some would say, darker than yours. I have a deep distrust of anyone who is so steeped in religion that they allow the way they live, dress, work and interact with others to be defined by some ancient dogma. Not only the radical Muslims but Christian arch-conservatives, Orthodox Jews—anyone, really, who insists on ONLY associating with people who share their own mean-spirited, bizarre views. And I'm not talking about church/ synagog/ mosque-going people who are kind to others and just want to lead a good life. You know exactly the crowd I'm referring to. And I have an extra-special dislike of people who make their livelihood off God. Those who purport to represent His word and intentions are the cause of much of the misery in the world.

April 11, 2013 at 2:22 PM  
Blogger Dr Zibbs said...

That's a book a want to read. Or is it a study?

April 11, 2013 at 3:00 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

I was hoping the book would have some titillation value but the reviewer assures that it's strictly academic. Therefore, pass.

April 11, 2013 at 3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes--all such similar groups are the same, including, to some extent, my family, who find everything "offensive".

April 12, 2013 at 12:16 AM  

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