The Unbearable Banishment: Is Charlize Theron the Dumbest Woman on Earth?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Is Charlize Theron the Dumbest Woman on Earth?

How far out of touch with reality can one Hollywood starlet be?

Swiss watchmaker Raymond Weil paid Ms. Theron a reported $20 million to shill be their spokeswoman and wear their watches exclusively.

Here on planet earth, that's an extraordinary amount of money to do nothing. And by "nothing," I’m not speaking in metaphor or allegory. All she had to do was pose for some pictures and wear a stupid wristwatch when she went out at night. What could be easier? Well, guess what? She couldn’t do it. She was photographed at a film festival wearing a Dior wristwatch, was sued, and a judge ordered her to give all that money back. A contract is a contract!

What happened? Did she forget? Not care? How arrogant. How dreary.

* * *
I hit a triple on my train home last night. I knocked out three—count ‘em—three cell phone calls at one time when I activated my cell phone jammer. I’ve hit hundreds of singles, a handful of doubles, but this was my first triple.

It never gets old.

* * *
The U.S. Presidents from 1776 to present.



Anonymous Rob said...

Cell phone jammer? Where do I get one of those?

I read on /. that the inventor of TV-B-Gone has open sourced it. Need to get one of those two.

Like that graphic. Telling, eh?

November 6, 2008 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

rob: Click here for some real peace of mind. Fair warning: I believe they are illegal in most municipalities. Let your conscience be your guide.

November 6, 2008 at 10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really can't imagine an existence that would allow me to own even one ridiculously expensive wrist watch, let alone two.

It must be nice to be so wealthy that being paid such sum to do nothing could be so easily forgotten.

November 6, 2008 at 11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

must. buy. jammer.

in an airport. loud, unnecessary conversations rampant. so what if it jams the avionics of the aircraft... greater good and all that...

November 6, 2008 at 4:35 PM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

I dislike making such a blanket statement, but this is exactly the reason I can’t stand it when celebrities attempt to give advice and wax poetic to the masses.

They are so out of touch with reality in not even funny.

Awesome device! Enact a cone of silence around you.

Nice picture. I hope we can look forward to more diversity.

November 6, 2008 at 5:12 PM  
Blogger JustinS said...

I lost my Fruit o' the Loom contract pretty much the same way.

November 6, 2008 at 6:51 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

annie: Such wealth is beyond my weak imagination. No matter. It took a while but I finally realize that money and shiny baubles can’t buy happiness.

daisy: It changed my life.

digital: That’s exactly why I have big belly laughs when I hear Barbara Streisand pontificate.

justins: THAT’S A GOOD ONE! Thanks for the laugh.

November 6, 2008 at 8:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have cell phone jammer envy

November 7, 2008 at 3:32 AM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I need an 'other people's iPod noise' jammer. Do they do those? A device that lets you turn down the volume on other peoples mp3 players? I've found a niche in the market!

As for Charlize....Ohhhhh dear. We have a word for that. It's called "ERROR"

November 7, 2008 at 6:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cell phone jammers

November 11, 2008 at 5:51 PM  

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