The Unbearable Banishment: cell phone jammer: a love story

Sunday, January 4, 2009

cell phone jammer: a love story

I was hitting doubles with my cell phone jammer on the train in. With one flick of a switch I was zapping the cell phone calls of both the yappy 19ish year old girl with an urban attitude sitting directly behind me AND the sideways baseball cap-wearing thug sitting in the row behind her. They were both cursing up a blue streak and getting good and angry. I, on the other hand, was feeling much better about the train ride.

They suddenly realized they were each having the same problem. They compared devices and cursed their carriers (his: Verizon, hers: AT&T) for having such wretched service so close to the city. They were drawn together by a common enemy (technology) and by the time we pulled into Newark, they had exchanged phone numbers. For all I know, they're in the process of becoming under-aged parents as I type this! How about that! They put their phones down and made human contact. I’m a regular cupid.

* * *

Also overheard on the same train from a different passenger who was starring out the window, wide-eyed, slack jawed, in utter disbelief:

Look at that! There’s a goddamn cell tower RIGHT THERE! Why can’t I get a decent signal?!

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8 Comments:

Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Good work. Who;d have thought two equally irritating people would meet thanks to being irritated? Now, could you get on over to London and work your cupid shiz over here?

January 4, 2009 at 3:20 PM  
OpenID daisyfae said...

magic! when you least expect it most, love can sneak up and zap you... perhaps you need a 'sperm destruction' level setting on it to prevent breeding?

January 4, 2009 at 5:54 PM  
OpenID anniegirl1138 said...

It's a good feeling to be proved righteous, isn't it?

January 4, 2009 at 6:36 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Jo: If only I had such powers. Just imagine the possibilities! I could make a fortune.

daisy: ooh, that’s a great idea. I need one device to freeze vocal cords and another to nullify breeding.

annie: Righteous? Me? I just want a quiet train ride. Is that asking a lot?

January 4, 2009 at 7:04 PM  
OpenID popomaticjeff said...

I'm gonna look for you the next time I'm on a train in or around the city and suddenly loose my signal. That probably will never happen because I hate talking on the phone, especially in public but I'm still gonna blame you whenever it does happen.

January 5, 2009 at 10:47 AM  
Blogger ~E said...

Hey *psst* UB! *whispers*

You're AWESOME!

*giggle*

I'm laughing at the visual in my head as I type.

January 6, 2009 at 2:30 AM  
Blogger sid said...

Man imagine if 25 yrs from now they're still together and telling their kids about how they first met.

January 6, 2009 at 4:45 AM  
OpenID confuddledperpetually said...

Hello! I am chuckling out loud at this one!

January 7, 2009 at 9:51 AM  

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