The Unbearable Banishment: HAMMERTIME! <i>redux</i>

Sunday, September 13, 2009


I thought that New York City had the most fashion forward women on the planet. So what the hell is this?

I was walking behind her down 41st Street just off 7th Avenue. (Fashion Avenue.) You know what these are, don't you? These are a pair of clown pants.

Oh, excuse me. I mean MC Hammer pants.

Are these back? Do you know what, ladies? They looked silly in 1990 and the passage of time has not improved them.

The older I get the more I realize that nothing in the fashion industry is all that revolutionary. They just recycle whatever was popular from the previous generation. The width of neckties and jacket lapels expand and contract on a scheduled basis.

Which brings us to this.

[CB, you might want to bail out at this point.]

Bryant park where I spend my mornings...has been closed off and invaded by the fashion glamoratti. It's fashion week here in New York. It's an important industry that pumps loads of cash into the city coffers but, personally, I don't understand high fashion one bit. It's an industry that preys on the vain and the insecure. If you need to spend $1,400 on a pair of shoes, you've probably got some self-esteem issues you need to address. You should take that money and spend it on a proper therapist.

I want my park back.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

i don't get fashion. i wear black. but only until they make something darker...

September 13, 2009 at 10:44 PM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

To be fair, she looks a bit older so maybe she just stopped caring about fashion in the 80's.

September 14, 2009 at 12:21 AM  
Blogger Sid said...

I would never spend that kind of money on shoes. That type of money could be a plane ticket somewhere.

September 14, 2009 at 3:44 AM  
Blogger mapstew said...

Black suit for gigs.
Tee shirt and jeans all other times.
I do have a wife and three daughters though, so I can't escape fashion.
(But I AM colour blind, which helps!)
They took your park?


September 14, 2009 at 4:29 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Daisy: I agree. It's always safe to go with the complete absence of color.

AFM: That's a good point. If I ever bump into her again, I'll ask if she's stuck in a time warp.

Sid: You should see what they spend on bags out here! It's actually sinful.

Map: They confiscate my park every year at this time for the same reason, which is to say, no good reason at all.

September 14, 2009 at 6:50 AM  
Blogger Cat said...

You are so right. Fashion designers are the ultimate idea recyclers.

September 14, 2009 at 8:26 AM  
Anonymous popomatic jeff said...

I'm going to assume that this look is not back. This woman has been wearing those pants since hammer's hey day.

September 14, 2009 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Ellie said...

Good spot! And fast with the camera!

I love my company because I can wear pretty much whatever I want ... unless I'm going to see the customer ... and that's when I get all insecure and pull out my £1,400 shoes. (Right.)

September 14, 2009 at 3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't get fashion. Never have, never will.

Clothing is simply functional. Keeps the wind and rain off yer pubes and yer dick from slappin' yer knees.

The people that part with their hard earned wages on that crap? Well, as PT Barnum once said, "There's a sucker born every minute."

Do you need me to sign a petition or something to get your park back?

Maybe you could bring a megaphone and chant "No Public Option". I hear it goes well with a picture of Obama morphed into either the Joker or Hitler. :-P

September 14, 2009 at 9:44 PM  
Blogger ~E said...

They are called "parachute pants" and I LIKE THEM!!!

Of course my emotional attachment comes from the fact that my cousin had them when they came out and I used to love to pull them over my head and walk around like a torso less pair of legs.

I was 7.

September 15, 2009 at 1:31 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I've decided that I've totally lost the knack of stealth photography. I've seen so many fashion disasters but I'm never quick enough. So congrats on your handywork, I'm impressed.


September 16, 2009 at 4:44 PM  

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