The Unbearable Banishment: A Single Parent

Friday, October 3, 2008

A Single Parent

Here are a few things I've learned while staying home to take care of The Daughters so Mrs. Wife could go away for a long weekend with The Mommy Mafia:

● My house gets an astonishing amount of midday light.

● At home, you are never more than an arm’s length away from food. If I weren’t in the city all week, I’d weigh 300 pounds.

● The music in High School Musical 2 is simply awful. But I’m not their target audience, so perhaps that’s unfair.

● 6-Year Old Daughter is in school until 3:00 o'clock, so when 2-Year Old is napping, that’s a block of free time. It could lead to all sorts of internet shenanigans. (I’m not saying it did; I’m just saying it could.) Also, I’ve discovered that I am a much shittier guitar player than I remember being. My fingers felt like stone, although I could still rattle off a passable version of Bob Marley’s Redemption Song.

● I thought I was too urban and sophisticated to be moved by something as bucolic as walking my daughter to school in the morning. Wrong again. Apparently, there's something beating inside that block of concrete in my chest.

● A lot of suburban moms have let themselves go to seed.

Dazed and Confused is a much better movie than I remember it being.


Anonymous daisyfae said...

when i'm out during the day - generally running errands - i'm always amazed at the number of people out and about. are they errand-running, too, or are they free humans, doing what they want?

sounds like a great day... "Redemption Song" is a lovely one to tackle to get your callouses back in shape!

October 3, 2008 at 11:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a semi-rural mom who pretty much runs free during the day now that daughter in in school all day. It's very nice.

I am not getting "seedy" either. Perhaps these women you saw were nothing much to begin with?

October 4, 2008 at 10:51 AM  
Anonymous michele said...

good start. I can't wait to see how you are doing by Sunday.

that will be like reading a sitcom script.

October 4, 2008 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

daisy: It’s even more acute in the city. Manhattan is filled to the brim the trust fund babies and the idle wealthy who do not have traditional jobs. Curse them!

annie: Sounds like a blissful lifestyle. Re: the seediness. I think they’re too wrapped up in running a household to worry about personal grooming and dressing in something other than sweats.

Michele: There has been no drama. There will be no drama. Go someplace else for your schadenfreude entertainment.

October 4, 2008 at 1:05 PM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I've never seen High School Musical. I'm not the target audience either, but I still kind of want to watch it just to see how cheesey it is.

My 'must watch' film from when I was six was The Worst Witch. I watched that over and over again.

October 4, 2008 at 1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha.... that brings back memories. not the going to seed part though.

October 4, 2008 at 6:54 PM  
Blogger fwengebola said...

I love the term 'Mommy Mafia', even if commenting on something from the beginning of your post makes it look as if I didn't read the rest. My boss refers to calling his wife to say he's going out with the boys as 'Getting clearance from the War Dept.' Perhaps you could check in with The Dept for Homeland Security?

October 5, 2008 at 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"getting clearance from the war department"

that's pretty good Fwengebola

October 6, 2008 at 5:41 PM  
Anonymous nuttycow said...

UB - I'm not sure what it is about American woman and "sweats" but we just don't have them over here. Are they like tracksuits? And why would you wear then during the day (unless you were a chav I suppose). You don't mention anything about cleaning. Am sure that if I was at home all day with the kids, a lot of my life would involve cleaning. I'm not at home all day and most of my life involves cleaning. How dull is that?

October 8, 2008 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

nutty: Sweats are loose fitting exercise clothes. The irony is that the Americans who wear sweats on a regular basis are the least likely to spend any time exercising!

October 8, 2008 at 3:31 PM  

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