The Unbearable Banishment: Slow Fast

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Slow Fast

I was told to fast for 24 hours. Doctors orders. It actually stretched to about 36 hours but it felt like it went on forever. It just about darn near killed me, although it certainly shouldn’t have. Jews fast for Yom Kippur. Muslims fast for Ramadan. Every summer, C fasts for 10 days. She has nothing but liquids for 10 friggin’days. An untold number of people go to bed hungry every night.

I tried to think of the last time I went 36 hours without eating and realized I never have. Ever! Isn't that astonishing?

Do you know what else I learned? I learned that I’m a big baby. Right around hour 20 I got very cranky and felt the world was a cruel and unfair place to live. What a whiner! During the lunch hour my brother called and started eating a bag of Doritos over the phone. On purpose. To be funny. I was allowed to eat Jell-O. A cup of Jell-O in midtown Manhattan costs $1.95. $2.11 with tax. Upon completion of my fast I drove at a very high rate of speed to the nearest KFC. I almost crashed through the front door. I broke my fast in finger lickin' style. Ahhh.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah if I had to fast I'd be breaking it with a complete lack of style too. probably at macca's

October 19, 2008 at 4:05 AM  
Blogger mjp said...

Don't feel too bad about Ramadan. Most Muslims don't really fast for a month. My family lived in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia for about 3 years, and every Ramadan business would stop during the day because everyone was sleeping. They just switched their schedules day for night, because you see, you can eat after sundown during Ramadan.

Clever, like doing whatever you want to do as a Catholic and then confessing all those sins away.

Or something.

October 19, 2008 at 9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how is it that you eat slow to fast? i'm confused...h

October 23, 2008 at 8:08 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

The fast is such a drag that it made the time pass slowly. Get it?

October 23, 2008 at 9:08 PM  

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