The Unbearable Banishment: contortionist

Thursday, November 13, 2008


Look, I know everyone is sick to death of hearing about my cell phone jammer escapades. I’ve been told, so you don’t have to deny it. But just this one more and then I’ll shut up.

Last evening a gentleman sitting in front of me on the train home met with some erratic cell phone service (as so many do, who sit in my proximity). He cursed Verizon, his carrier. His seat was the type that could accommodate three people and he had the whole seat to himself. Every time his call was dropped, he would slide to a different part of the seat—first the bulkhead, then the aisle, then the middle—thinking the service was better just a foot or two away and place his call again.

As you can imagine, his service never improved. In a last desperate attempt to carry on his meaningless conversation, he laid down across the seat on his stomach and held his head over the edge of the seat, certain that the strongest signal was to be found near the floor of the train. It was so funny!

I'm know mean. Please forgive me.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes it's the simple things in life that amuse us. I just wish I could have been there to see it.
Bring it home I want to take it to the mall.

November 13, 2008 at 8:41 AM  
Anonymous Rob said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha! I really have to get me one of those. Perfect the "stall conversations" one gets subjected to in the men's room at times.
Obviously your traveling "buddy" had no idea how ridiculous he looked, eh?

November 13, 2008 at 9:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are so awful. how do you keep from laughing and being discovered?

November 13, 2008 at 9:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

please keep sharing the joy - at least until i get my own. then perhaps we can have a standalone blog page that shares stories of "asshole jamming".

oh. maybe naming it something else would preclude some accidental blog tourists...

November 13, 2008 at 11:01 AM  
Blogger Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Hahaha, reading these stories just makes me really really want one of those things.

Keep the cell blocker stories coming!

November 13, 2008 at 12:16 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

MT: I’m not sure this thing would work in a mall. It seems to be most effective in an enclosed space. I’ve tried to knock out phone calls while walking down Madison of people who were just two paces in front of me and it has never worked.

rob: Yes, a bathroom stall would be a PERFECT place to use this miracle of science. Have you ever seen someone carry on a conversation while standing at a urinal? I have. More than once!

annie: I live in constant fear of being busted, but I’m in too deep and can’t stop myself. You can’t un-bite the apple.

daisy & jo: Well, okay, if you insist. Other readers might roll their eyes in disgust but if you guys enjoy them, that’s enough for me.

November 13, 2008 at 12:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And during this time, your digital camera was where...?

People on mass transit. Dude, don't get me started. But can I ask a catch-up you live and work within Manhattan, or do you commute from Jersey or one of the other boroughs?


November 13, 2008 at 2:26 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

sonny: Rats! A photo would have been GREAT! Why didn't I think of it?

Live in suburban NJ, commute into Manhattan every day via a NJ Transit train. The train portion of my commute is about 1:15 each way.

November 13, 2008 at 2:40 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...


Um, "asshole jamming"?

Good Lord, what multiple connotations that phrase might have.

November 13, 2008 at 7:51 PM  
Blogger Pearl said...

I like these stories! Between the reception issues and the ridiculously loud conversations, public transportation is a circus.


November 13, 2008 at 7:53 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

I wish I could have been there!! Brilliant

November 13, 2008 at 9:31 PM  
Blogger ~E said...

It's worth it..the jammer I mean. To see an adult male make a fool of himself in front of a train full of people in the quest for cellphone reception.


November 14, 2008 at 1:34 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home