The Unbearable Banishment: an uncharacteristically bitter post

Saturday, May 9, 2009

an uncharacteristically bitter post

The following teaser paragraph appeared on the front page of the Sunday New York Times real estate section:

The Tovar family wanted to move to New York for health reasons. They found a town house in Greenwich Village with a $15,000 monthly rent. So far, it seems to be the right medicine.

Having the wherewithal to pay $15K a month for rent would be the right medicine for just about anything that ailed you, I suppose. The Tovar’s son has asthma and living in Florida exacerbated his condition. Apparently, because of New York City’s lack of botany, he is able to live a healthier life in the city.

One day Mrs. Tovar said, “Let’s leave.” So they did. The plan was to test New York City through all four seasons…

?!?!?!?!

Their real estate agent in New York said, “To them, 2,000 square feet it tiny.”

They considered a three-bedroom at 15 Central Park West, listed at $27,000 a month. “I wasn’t completely satisfied,” Mrs. Tovar said. “Everyone gets drawn into the amenities, but to me the space was a factor.”

Mrs. Tovar sounds like a big a pain in the ass to me.

This was tough for me to read. I’ve just come off of four months of unemployment and have a consulting job that doesn’t pay benefits. My gut reaction was, “Hey, fuck you, Tovar family, and your bottomless well of money and prima donna attitudes.” Then I came to my senses and realized how immature and unfair that is.

But the Times got the story all wrong. It's not about the search for a suitable apartment in Manhattan. It’s about how some people have so much cash at their disposal that they can solve some of life’s problems by shoveling money into a furnace. I mean, who rents? Isn’t this a buyer’s market?

9 Comments:

OpenID daisyfae said...

it's an alien lifestyle, out there in the financial stratosphere.

but i know that i'm one of the luckiest... and feel guilty... and know that i could live with a lot less if i had to...

May 9, 2009 at 11:20 PM  
Blogger A Free Man said...

I thought we were paying a lot for rent. Jesus.

May 10, 2009 at 12:16 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Daisy: It took me a LONG TIME to finally realize that money does not = happiness. But it DOES = freedom. That counts for plenty.

AFM: These guys are the exception. 99% of the population do not have these means at their disposal. The Times, in their snobbery, were very nonchalant about the whole thing.

May 10, 2009 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger Blues said...

Wow, I thought the rental market was tough here. I don't understand how ANY apartment could be worth THAT much. What are the faucets made of solid gold and doorknobs studded with diamonds? Geesh.

Hey I understand the anger, I feel it too. I'm currently trying to let go of that (I guess envy I feel). Who knows, maybe if I had all that money I would have my faucets redone in gold and my doorknobs studded in diamonds. Wait, no I wouldn't. Assholes.

May 10, 2009 at 11:33 AM  
Anonymous Mrs. Tovar said...

My my, how the plebeians do moan! For your information, our faucets are beautiful, but understated:

http://www.faucetdirect.com/index.cfm/page/product:display/productId/896%252F303/manufacturer/Jado

And our doorknobs are not diamond encrusted, that would be gauche. They are hand cut Baccarat crystal, something well within the price range of most Americans.

Good lord! You would think we were murdering infants and feasting on their blood the way you people react! I require space to stretch out and breathe. And as for my son Oswaldo's asthma, none of you have any idea how very difficult it is to watch such a gifted and beautiful boy suffer so. At times he was bedridden for days with shortness of breath and accompanying ennui and vapors. I don't expect any of you knuckle-dragging workaday oafs to understand! Those Floridian children were the spawn of swamp hillbillies in any event, so removing him from that atmosphere will do us all well.

I will bid you fond adieu, but remember, I personally donate hundreds of dollars annually to several charities that many of you may utilize for your daily existence, so do not be so quick to judge, you small-minded wretches!

Good day!

May 11, 2009 at 2:02 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Blues: It probably has killer views. That’s why it’s so expensive.

“Mrs. Tovar:” I’m glad you found my post. And what a beautiful faucet. It’s a steal @ $3,376 (a 36% savings). So elegant. Yes, it screams: “TOVAR FAMILY.” So happy to have you in town. You know the old saying: quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand. That’s me in a nutshell.

May 12, 2009 at 6:49 AM  
OpenID hereinfranklin said...

If my mother named me Oswaldo I'd stay in bed too.

May 13, 2009 at 7:58 AM  
Blogger Blues said...

That is seriously funny. Mrs. Tovar needs to start a blog of her own.

Those faucets are wild, indeed.

May 13, 2009 at 4:54 PM  
Blogger ~E said...

$15,000 a MONTH??? for RENT???

Holy crap. That's like a car a month!

Damn rich people.

May 14, 2009 at 12:44 AM  

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