The Poetry of Spam: You Are Inadequate in Your Pants

Here are some of my favorite subject lines from spam emails that I’ve received over the past several weeks. They are written by people who have, at best, a tenuous grasp of the English language. It’s the dubbed dialog from a Japanese monster movie. Most people dread what shows up in their spam inbox but I think that sheer poetry can be found within.

Your new weapon will remove her undies
Get armed with huge love cannon
No need to kill yourself over size
Grow your pole easily today
Get a rod of colossal measurements!
Feel yourself more manly
Amend your problem of small dimension
Gain a voluminous male package

From off the shelves of your local Home Depot:
Your tool is set to grow
More dimension and vigor for your love tool
Get the biggest tool in the town
Dating 101 made easy with large tool

Something I’ve always wondered:
Where do homosexuals get all their energy?

And, of course:
Jamie Lynn is a bigger slut than Britney