The Unbearable Banishment: Name Your Shame

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Name Your Shame

I have a theory that everyone has something on their iPod that they are secretly and deeply ashamed of. Something that they PRAY doesn’t come up in a shuffle in mixed company. Well, I’m willing to show you mine if you show me yours. I am putting my reputation as a cutting edge sophisticate on the line, but I’m willing to do it for the sake of a decent post.

On my iPod, you’ll find the theme to almost every James Bond film. I suppose I could have wiggled out of this by claiming a 60s hipster panache for Nancy Sinatra’s You Only Live Twice or Tom Jones’ Thunderball, but how can I possibly defend Matt Monro’s From Russia With Love or Gladys Knight’s License to Kill? I can’t! It's terrible! Please don’t judge me. It’s bigger than I am and I can’t seem to help myself.


19 Comments:

Blogger Heidi said...

Hows about the Carpenters - Superstar.

October 5, 2008 at 5:35 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Although the Carpenters are one of the great hokum bands of all time, Superstar was written by Leon Russell who is an amazing songwriter. The Carpenters and Ray Charles recorded another great song of his, A Song For You. There’s no shame in listening to ANYTHING that guy wrote. Nice try, Heidi. I appreciate the effort.

October 5, 2008 at 6:38 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

ok then...what about Undercover Angel, by Alan O'Day...circa 1976ish

October 5, 2008 at 8:28 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Yeah, that qualifies. It stinks bad. Shame on you. And you're a singer! You should know better! Welcome to the club.

October 5, 2008 at 8:42 PM  
Blogger Pearl said...

My iPod embarrassment is Sweet's Ballroom Blitz. Delightfully silly with a touch of glittering decadence.

Pearl

October 5, 2008 at 9:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ONE of my worst - Badfinger, "No Matter What"... and even worse? i have been known to perform this (self accompanied) at parties... ugh [hanging head in shame]

October 5, 2008 at 11:20 PM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

I can't believe I am going to admit this...my guilty pleasure song is "Dancing Queen" by ABBA.

October 6, 2008 at 1:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not ashamed of anything on my iPod for I have impeccable taste in everything...and I absolutely include the soundtrack to Jesus Christ Superstar in that, oh yes I do.

October 6, 2008 at 3:44 AM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

all: I appreciate the effort, but you are failing miserably! Pearl, The Sweet’s Ballroom Blitz is about as awesome as Love is Like Oxygen (the short version). Nothing wrong there! Likewise, daisy, there’s nothing wrong with the Paul McCartney-penned No Matter What. It’s got a great lick. There are portions of the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack that are pretty catchy. Just listen to that bass line when Christ is being whipped. It’s groovy! Sorry, ifmusicbe, but you get a failing grade, too. digital, you make the grade as Dancing Queen sucks horribly.

C’mon, people, I’m listening to Lulu’s Man With the Golden Gun, for Christ’s sake! Is that the best you can do?

October 6, 2008 at 8:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have several songs from both High School Musical 1 and 2 on my iPod and no, I don't have kids. While I'm not ashamed to admit this, others might think that I should be.

October 6, 2008 at 9:38 AM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Ha Ha! Success! I made it! Than...wait, the song sucks?

October 6, 2008 at 11:43 AM  
Blogger mjp said...

C’mon, people, I’m listening to Lulu’s Man With the Golden Gun, for Christ’s sake! Is that the best you can do?

You should search out the original title song for Man With the Golden Gun...it's on Alice Cooper's Muscle of Love album.

Why the studio changed their mind is a mystery. Or maybe not, after you hear it. Who'd have ever thought the Alice Cooper band could phone one in? Ha.

Oh, and I don't have a fucking iPod, you Jetta-driving, different-pair-of-Italian-eyeglasses-for-every-day-of-the-week-having, MacBook AIR pricks!

October 6, 2008 at 3:23 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

pop: You seem like a nice enough guy, but HSM is the pits. That definitely passes muster. Shame on you.

digital: Congrats! You win/lose!

mjp: Holy SHIT! I forgot all about that! I bought that album when it came out. It was packaged in a corrugated box and included Teenage Lament '74, his duet with Liza Minnelli—one of the biggest WHAT THE FUCKS?! in rock music history. I bailed out on Alice because of that album.

October 6, 2008 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger bob said...

I'm totally downloading, erm, *legally acquiring* 'Ballroom Blitz' right this instant, as well as 'Fox on the Run."

I won't have a word said against any Carpenters song. And I'll create a new shame by digging up (and I'm not sure which of the above songs put this into my head) 'Billy, Don't Be a Hero' and Paper Lace's immortal 'The Night Chicago Died' (which is not to be confused with 'The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia) -- don't trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer,'cause the judge in the town's got bloodstains on his hands)

I'm an idiot for retaining that lyric for lo these past 30 some-odd years.

October 6, 2008 at 7:09 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

bob: Don't do it! Don't put those songs on your iPod! I beg you! It's too dangerous. You could hurt yourself.

October 6, 2008 at 9:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DAMN YOU BOB!!! DAMN YOU TO ETERNAL HELL...

shit. you just dredged up the true shame on my iPod.

(teeny tiny font, please...)
"precious and few" by climax...

do i win an amana radarange?

October 6, 2008 at 10:24 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Oh, daisyfae. I’m so, so sorry to hear this. Precious and Few truly is as bad as modern Western artistry can ever get. I’m holding a funeral for your taste in music. I’m feeling a bit better about A-Ha’s The Living Daylights.

October 7, 2008 at 8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From Russia with Love is brilliant, and on my iP. I do hope you've got 'On her Majesty's secret service', which is jolly good fun.

But my all time worst song which I should probably remove: You are loved by Josh Groban, which is simply tragic. I needed some audible reassurance back when I first added it. Oh dear.

October 7, 2008 at 4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For what it's worth..."Take On Me" by A-Ha...I'd say that qualifies.

Cheers,
SA

October 8, 2008 at 3:07 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home